Random Pics: Northampton, MA

I just liked this window.
This sign is at the entrance of the parking garage! Northampton is one of my favorite little towns to wander around.

Main Street
These penguins were marching up the stairs at Faces. DD almost knocked them over like dominos!
Random things in the store.
Total BITCH bubble bath
Lookin' Good for Jesus Bubble Bath. I bought some of the Lookin Good for Jesus Sparkle Cream for the pastor I work for. :-)
I NEED this bag.
Heaven. We went in for fudge. walnut penuchi and chocolate peanut butter.
Damn. I rotated these photos in IPhoto and they didn't stay rotated!
Thorne's Market. A wonderfully eclectic collection of shops.
Thorne's
We had great soup and sandwiches here. Mine was a curried pumpkin.

Friday already?

Okay, so here are a few Friday Rants and Raves:

Rants:

• children bickering in car
• 5 hour car rides
• husband in bad mood during all 5 hours of car ride
• headaches
• CT scans
• feeling like you have to pee REALLY BADLY and being told to hold your breath FOREVER during said CT scan
• nurses who can't find a vein when they set up your IV
• labs who "hemolize" your blood while doing the lab work, necessitating another blood draw and another 45 minute wait
• tire centers who have 5 days before your appointment, but on the day of, "can't find the tires in the store" and have to reschedule for the next day. The day before Thanksgiving. The day of your CT scan.
• children bickering in hotel room instead of doing homework.
  

Raves:

• Tire guys who take your tongue-in-cheek comment about how the waiting room would be better if they served wine and had wireless internet access seriously and present you with a bottle of wine when you go back for your appointment. :-)
• a NICE bottle of chardonnay. Really. How coool is that?
  
• headphones in the car when no one can agree on the music
• nice radiology nurses
• Black Friday deals available on Wednesday
  
• Guesstures. A pee-in-your-pants funny game when played with relatives of every generation after eating waaay too much turkey. And a little scotch. Just a little, I swear.
• SIL did a boob flash for one of her words. Not caught on film.
• MIL acted out stripper for her word. Caught on film.
• I did "The Worm" on the floor. They got the word. No photographic evidence, thankyouverymuch
• Brined turkey.
  
• Post turkey naps. Someone drooled. It wasn't me. It was DD, snuggled in my arms on the couch. Someone snored. Could have been DH or FIL. Definitely not me.
• Dessert buffets.
• Glenlivet scotch (so not me, but sooo good)
  
• Staying in a hotel room instead of on a relative's pull out sofa
• Hotels that offer free breakfast
• Hotels that have wireless internet.
• Blog Give Aways!

So, I followed a blog link from Thystle's blog and found Sheree, on "Opinions of a Broad". She's seriously witty, beautifully real and honest, and she's a cool potter. She had a post about her "Swearware", some wise-ass pottery that would be like what I imagine Thystle drinking her coffee out of, and mentioned a 50% (yes 50% discount!) and said something like she'll give away a mug for free if a reader can convince her. So I rambled on and on and I won! Well, actually, I was the only one who asked, but waay cool! Lorrie and Thystle my dry spell is OVER!

I should have known, that both Thystle and Lorrie would be followers of her blog. I can see a kindred spirit amongst these women. While I am not a potter (well, my family members have a few clunky pieces I made for them when I was in my artsy phase, but that didn't last), and am certainly not as witty or as "spot-on" in my snarky life observations and not as eloquent as I write my daily ramblings and frustrations, I still think those three would be a blast to have a drink with. Okay, more than one. Maybe too much. But it would be worth it. Can't you imagine a Thelma and Louise type adventure?

Other random news from the week:

• I made the Eggnog cheesecake squares for Turkey Day and they were a big hit!
• I watched the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion - what a train wreck! and the new Real Housewives of Orange County - delightful back-to-back reality trash tv.
• I bought a turtleneck from Lane Bryant with a 15.00 coupon and found out that it was buy one get one free (not the lame buy one, get one half off which is a cheap ploy just to get you to spend more money) So, instead of a 49.00 t-neck for $34, I got TWO t-necks for $24 something. (Yeah, I don't get that math either, it's like there's an extra discount in there somewhere, but I'm not complaining)
• I used another $20 coupon in Coldwater Creek and got another t-neck for only $9.50 - yeah, I'm all about the sales and the turtlenecks.
• I bought a Nikon Coolpix camera. I love that it's smaller than my phone. Not the Ashton Kutcher cool one (that was $400!), but a cool plum colored one that was on sale for $129. Yay!
  
• I forget the rest - that's what I get for not updating since Monday.

Enjoy Black Friday shopping! Enjoy the leftovers! Enjoy the weekend!
Thank you Sheree!

Twilight Zone

Okay, so a quick tour of my blog feeds this weekend shows that either you or your friends are ALL blogging or tweeting about the Twilight Zone.

Seriously, if there were a way to do a trending report (hello? Google Analytics? Somebody?) Anyway, I'm sure somebody has done it, but I'm sure that it would show that Twilight got the most hits or keywords or whatever this weekend.

As someone who has not read the books or seen the movie, I'm feeling slightly out of touch.

A little like I've missed the boat, or like I'm June Cleaver and I don't understand those Beatles.

Am I the only one?

I read a lot of James Patterson, Jen Lancaster, Anita Shreve, Elizabeth Berg, Jodi Picoult, Dean Koontz, "Oprah" type books.....

Anybody have a recommendation? Think I might like it? I never warmed up to the Harry Potter books, although I liked the movies and am a voracious reader.

You know you've got a problem when...

Your 10 year old is sitting at the kitchen table doing homework and belting out a song.

Not just any song. A Mamma Mia song.

An Abba song.




....."Gimme gimme gimme a MAN after midnight...... Won't somebody help me chase the shadows awaaaaay?"


....."Is there a man out therrrrrrrre?........"


Damn Abba.

Top of her lungs, too.

I got nuthin'

Well, nothing much.

Darling Daughter finally caught the bug today. And instead of her usual bounce-back self, continued to puke from 6:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

She was supposed to go to a Sweet and Sassy party at 11:30 this morning. :-(

At 10:45, she announced, through Darling Husband, that she "felt better" and could she go to the party?

Um, no.

Talk to me mothers.... I wasn't being overprotective, right? You wouldn't let your kid go to a party after a morning of puking, right?

I mean, I didn't want to punish her, but my thinking was my name would be MUD (sorry Lorrie) if she went to the party and either
A) puked again
or
B) other kids started puking on Sunday. Or Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

*We'd be blamed.

DH couldn't understand this.(!) I'm usually pretty lax, but this seemed to me to be a common courtesy.

I mean, if she had puked once, and felt immediately better, I *might've acquiesced. But not when it was repetitive.

And at around 1 PM she had a 100.4 temp.

She finally had a bit of tomato soup at 7 PM, but pretty much nothing else but water and a little juice. all. day.

So, I spent the day exploring the dusty boxes underneath my bed. Ack! I keep a lot of crap. Mostly there were boxes of photos ( I haven't done a scrap book or photo album since 2003) :-( . Anyway, I culled through a lot of tacky sweaters, ratty tees and semi-organized the photo boxes.

I made a GREAT dinner - chicken breasts with a creamy, lemony sauce and angel hair pasta. As I was browning the chicken, DH and Number One Son informed me they were on their way out to the movies. (James Bond)

Hello!? When I asked you what time the movie was, you never mentioned that you weren't staying for dinner!

So, I told DH he could have it tomorrow night and I will be taking Darling Daughter to the movies when she feels better.

Anyway, with a generous glass of chardonnay, that chicken was AMAZING. :-)

I also promised DD that I would take her to Sweet and Sassy for a raincheck hair cut and spa day. I went there to drop off the gift and take some photos of what she missed. What a cute concept! Check it out: Sweet and Sassy.

Hope you enjopyed your day.

More random shots from the week

Can you see the huge snow flakes?
No more driveway basketball for a while.

Last night, we went to the YMCA's victory celebration for a successful end to their fundraising campaign. (Can you say 1.3 million dollars? Woot! It all goes to families and kids who can't afford to go to camp or childcare or other Y programs)

I have to say, I'm pretty very proud of him. He's worked really hard with great volunteers and a great staff to make this a very successful YMCA. He's a great motivator and always makes these events exciting and rewarding for those who have worked so hard to make it successful.

It's always pretty crazy with spoofs and skits. You never know what you'll find.

That is my husband dressed up as Gene Simmons. Two years ago, he dressed up as a Spice Girl. Yes, really. I suppose this is an improvement.
Yes, that's a glittery turkey. Playing the sax. No, it's not my husband.
This is my distinguished husband again. He's "Sir Raise-a-Lot", a take-off on Sir Mix-a-Lot. I think he looks a little "Jerry Garcia-ish", with the salt and pepper beard. What do you think?

Yes, he was wearing obnoxious faux bling, a bathrobe in public, and can you see them?

Crocs.

Gold crocs.

In size 14.

:::sigh::: I did say, "for better or worse".

A confession

Okay, I'm really not mean-spirited In Real Life, honest.

And I realize by confessing this I open myself up to all sorts of criticism of my evil ways, my shallowness, my own physical (and other) imperfections......

So before I get all catty and petty, in full disclosure, I'll admit to some of my more public faults.

• I weigh more than I should (snort)
  
• I have many bad hair days and a wardrobe that would make Stacy and Clinton cringe.
• I procrastinate. It's maddening, I'm sure.
• I'm slovenly.
• I have too many piles. I seriously need to declutter.
• I'm not always prompt with my thank you notes.
• sometimes I'm just not motivated.
• I am often an uninspired cook
• I ignore things that need to be fixed, like loose buttons on a shirt and pants that should be ironed or that stubborn stain on my daughter's favorite shirt.
• sometimes I wait until the end of the day to wipe the toothpaste out of the sink
  

To be fair, I think I have a fair amount of desirable qualities, too, but that's a post for another day.

But am the only one who secretly does a fist pump when they see a photo of someone they knew in their teens or early 20's; who was an "It Girl" or BMOC, and they used to be so super skinny or so perfectly coiffed or drop-dead I-can't-breathe-gorgeous or whatever and now they are....

.... different?

I mean, I know we all age, and some of us take better care of ourselves than others...

Most of the time, I see pics of people I haven't seen in 20 years and they look exactly like you'd expect them to. With a few extra pounds, or a few less hairs, or gray hair, or wrinkles. No big surprises. And I'd probably recognize them if I bumped into them.

But once in a while, I see a photo of someone and I think, "Holy Crap!".

Like they are the COMPLETE opposite of what you would've expected when you were younger.

Like an ALIEN came and took over their body and replaced it with one from another gene pool?

Really, no? I'm the only one?

Go ahead, flame away.

Honest, I don't think any less of them, but I just think "Wow", or maybe "Whoa".

And I should add, sometimes it goes the other way, too. I knew them in all of their adolescent awkward glory and college un-fashion and now they're..... grown up. (Big surprise, huh?) Put together, successful, hip.... I know I shouldn't be surprised. But am I the only one?

TWOP

okay, if you've never been over to the website, Television Without Pity, go.
Now.
Go to the list of shows, click on one you like and then read the recaps. Seriously, side-splitting funny snarky (what's not to love about that?) commentary on the characters, dialog, drama, fashion - you name it.

But this post isn't really about TWOP.

Anyway, I've been watching...

(promise not to judge me?)


pinky swear?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Yes, shut up. I know it's trash TV. AND IT'S NOT ON TWOP!. :::sigh:::

But seriously, don't those women have anyone to slap them and tell them to stop embarrassing themselves and their families?

The husbands seem normal. The kids seem normal.

Lisa and DeShawn seem normal. Privileged, but normal. Lisa's husband is an NFL player and DeShawn's husband is an NBA player. They live in fabulous houses, have personal chefs (yes, I am jealous), but I can't really say anything bad about them. They enjoy a nice lifestyle, but have been polite to the people around them and are trying to include Sheree, NeNe and Kim in their plans without excluding anyone. Nothing embarrassing in their TV personas at all.

But Sheree, NeNe (what the h&*% kind of name is that for a grown woman?) and Kim? Someone should throw a drink over their heads, slap them and set them straight. @@ The D-R-A-M-A.

Holy crap, it's worse than jr high.

Sheree is the least offensive of the 3, but she's full of herself and seems to be the catalyst in some of the problems between NeNe and Kim - almost like a jr high dynamic of only being able to have one BFF.

(I can't believe I'm talking about these "characters" like they go to my school or something!)

NeNe is just an idiot. A Drama Queen. I can't believe she has a normal kid and a normal husband. She needs a supportive bra for her gigantic "girls"and she needs to STOP being passive-aggressive and infantile. Holy Cow. She's total trash. I'd say white trash, but she's African American and I don't want to say ghetto trash, but really, :::shudder:::. You can dress a person up (tackily), but you can't change who they are.

Kim, well, Kim seems stuck in jr high like no one else. She's in total denial of her true age. (29? Are you KIDDING me? :::snort:::) She does Botox (NTTAWWT*), wears gobs and GOBS of heavy make-up, doesn't know how to button her shirts or maybe doesn't know what size she really is because I have never seen any shirt properly buttoned up (yes, I know I sound like a prude), calls her boyfriend "Big Poppa" (gag) and wears schoolgirl plaid mini-skirts. AND she announced on national TV that she NEVER wears panties, and if she does, (I know, a contradiction, right?) Big Poppa likes the big white granny panties.

How's *that for an image seared into your brain? Yeah, she's trash, too.

Kim thinks she's going to be a big country singer, but can't seem to HEAR the professionals ( a voice coach and big hip-hop producer) tell her she can't carry a tune in a bucket and smoking a pack a day is doing nothing for her voice. I mean, they've only told her a zillion times that she doesn't know music, can't sing, has to start over with training and quit smoking and she just keeps on talking blah, blah, blah, I have a crack in the foundation, but the windows are beautiful so I have some work to do.....

And she's super-pissed at NeNe, (in previous episodes, NeNe was her BFF) and instead of talking to her and telling her she overheard something that hurt her feelings; she blows off a dinner party that the nice DeShawn invited her to, and hangs up on her, then texts NeNe a bitchy, F-off text. This is from GROWN WOMEN?!

I swear, I was talking to the TV screen last night, something I really don't usually do. Honest.

Whew, I feel better now. It's always good to get things off your chest.

Thank you.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

PS - If you get sucked in, the previews show some trashspectacular fighting on the reunion show next Tuesday at 9 PM on Bravo.

Oh and it's followed by The Real Housewives of Orange County - an all new season! :-) I'm buying a fresh bottle of chardonnay and snacks. Hmmm, maybe gorgonzola on toasted baguette rounds.... I have a week to plan.

Enjoy the day.

* NTTAWWT = Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Really Random

pics from the last two weeks. I know, kind of lame, but I don't have much here as I lost the entire weekend plus Monday to the nasty stomach bug that's been going around. You know the one..... lots of puking and general queasiness. I wish I could say I lost weight, but I highly doubt it.

Number One Son and his friend on Halloween night. Yeah, he was a white-boy version of Flava Flav. @@ Hey, I pick and choose my battles. This one I didn't pick. In my defense, that was the same day I was diagnosed with a raging kidney infection. I was clearly not in my right mind.

I can't figure out how to rotate this one, which is a shame, because Darling Daughter is just too cute. So, turn your head to the side and check out her abs! She definitely did not inherit them from me. Or DH either, honestly.
The last soccer game of the season. November 1 and beautiful weather.

The last football game of the season - more beautiful weather. I think it hit 70 degree that day. Number One Son is the TALL one in the middle, number 58
When I went to Number One Son's hockey practice last week, I was feeling too sick to hang at the bar, so I watched the action on the other rinks. This one had the speed skating club practicing. Unfortunately, 10 minutes later, one of them took a header into the (padded) wall and did serious enough damage that she was taken out in a neck brace on a back board by the EMS crew and taken to the hospital. I think she (he?) was unconscious. :-(
This is what my Darling Daughter does when she should be doing homework or cleaning her room. It was the first day of snow here and she thought the poor tortured cat needed a sweater and boots, borrowed from her Poochie Pup. Poor thing.

That's all folks - I have lots of comments and blogs to catch up on, as well as cleaning and decluttering.

PS - I made the eggnog cheesecake bars, and they TOTALLY ROCK!

Snark

and rambling observations will have to wait. It's hard to be witty or observant when you're sick in bed.

Catch ya later.

Whoa

Anybody wandering over here this week would think this was a cooking kind of blog. I'll be back to snark and rambling observations soon, maybe tomorrow. '

Have a good night!

Bro Wease on Monday!

Check it out: Bro Wease will be back on air on Monday on 95.1 - that's Rochester, folks.

Brother Wease returns to morning radio

Welcome back!

Sorry, this only makes sense if you're in Rochester.

Spanakopita, as promised

See how the layers separate and are flaky?

SPANAKOPITA (GREEK SPINACH PIE)

2 pkgs. frozen chopped spinach

2 sticks butter, melted

6 eggs, well beaten

1 or 2 med. onions, finely chopped and sauteed

1 lb. cottage cheese or ricotta

4 oz. cream cheese

1 cup or so of parmesan or romano grated cheese.

3/4 lb. feta cheese, crumbled

1 box filo, defrosted ( do NOT let this sit out in the air – it dries out very quickly and cracks)

Cook spinach and drain VERY well; add 1/4 cup melted butter to it. Mix eggs, sauteed onion, and cheeses together and combine with spinach. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter bottom of two 9x13 inch pans.

Fold 4 filo sheets in half, and place them in a pan, one at a time, brushing each sheet (and between each sheet) with melted butter. Distribute half of spinach mixture in each pan, evenly over sheets. Repeat process with 4 more sheets in each pan. (So you have 8 layers on the bottom and 8 on the top)

With sharp knife, cut through tops to make into squares or triangles. Bake 1 hour or until golden brown and puffy. Cool and cut into squares. This can then be frozen; reheat at 350 degrees.

You can play around with these ingredients and quantities, based on what you have at hand. It’s very forgiving. I like it with more feta cheese, my daughter likes it with more cream cheese – LOTS of it. I also sprinkle sesame seeds on the top and a little parmesan cheese.

You can also cut the filo into strips and fold up little triangles with the spinach mixture inside. It will look like little folded flags.

Enjoy!

A few more recipes for good measure

Quick Gooey Butter Coffee Cake

1 box yellow cake mix
4 eggs
1/2 cup butter melted
1 package cream cheese ( 8 oz. )
1 Tbs. vanilla essence
1 box powdered sugar ( 16 oz. )

Blend cake mix with 2 eggs and melted butter. Pour into a 12x8x2 inch dish.
In another bowl combine cream cheese and 2 eggs vanilla and powdered sugar (reserve 2 Tbs.) Spread cream cheese mixture carefully over batter in pan. Bake 325 degrees for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with the 2 Tbs. powdered sugar. Return to oven and bake 25 minutes longer. Do not over-bake! If over-baked, topping will not be gooey. Serve cake warm.

And I don't have a pic of this one, but I LOVE it, and it's sooo good.

Butterscotch Brownies recipe

1/4 cup melted butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup nut meats, broken

Butter a shallow 8-inch square pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Mix all ingredients and spread in the pan. Bake about 25 minutes. Cut into squares while warm.

PS I just looked through my posts with recipes and realized I still owe you the AWESOME spanakopita recipe from my mother-in-law. Look for that later this week. My sis-in-law asked me to bring it for Thanksgiving.

In the spirit of sharing...

...holiday recipes, check out this recipe I found today.


(I know, I was supposed to be concentrating on work, but trust me, this didn't take long and the vicarious sugar high I got totally got me through a slow morning)

Eggnog Cheesecake Bars

Eggnog Cheesecake Bars

Preparation Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 3 hours 45 minutes

Servings: 24

Ingredients

14	Crackers Keebler® Grahams Original rectangular cracker sheets*
	- or -
1 3/4	cups Crackers Keebler® Graham Cracker Crumbs
3	tablespoons sugar
1	teaspoon nutmeg, divided
1/3	cup butter or margarine, melted
3	packages (8 oz. each) cream cheese, softened
3/4	cup sugar
1	teaspoon vanilla
2	eggs
1	cup canned or refrigerated eggnog
	Nutmeg (optional)

Directions
1. Finely crush crackers (should have about 1 3/4 cup crumbs). In small bowl stir together crackers, 3 tablespoons sugar and 1/2 teaspoon of the nutmeg. Add butter. Toss until combined. Press onto bottom of 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking pan. Bake at 350ºF for 8 minutes.

2. In large mixing bowl beat cream cheese on medium speed of electric mixer until fluffy. Add 3/4 cup sugar, vanilla and remaining 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg. Beat until combined. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until just combined after each addition. Stir in eggnog.

3. Bake at 350°F about 22 minutes or until almost set. Cool on wire rack for 1 hour. Lightly sprinkle with additional nutmeg, if desired. Refrigerate at least 2 hours. Cut into bars.

*NOTE: Each cracker sheet measures about 5 x 2-inches and is scored into 4 pieces.

You are very welcome.

Waving Hello.....

I have NO idea what I got myself into. And it's not the first time. Probably not the last time either.

But as I was reading some of my blogs and followed links on those blogs, and followed links of commenters on those blogs...... you get the picture, right?

I ended up here. A blog called Good and Crazy People. (Which is a good read, btw)

And through a series of email and Twitter exchanges (all I wanted was a yummy recipe, really!) I ended up signing up for this thing called GNO. On Twitter.

As if I don't get myself into enough trouble all on my own, now I'm jumping feet first into an unknown arena with 75 other Twittering, Blogging fools (I mean that in the nicest way!).

Anyway, hello and welcome to all of you who have wandered over here from Twitter and GNO and Carissa's blog! Have a look around and stay awhile. Leave a comment if you're so inclined.

See you tonight - if I can find my way back!

Mamma Mia

Darling Daughter and I went to see this movie yesterday afternoon. I am STILL singing Abba tunes.
It was silly and a bit cheesy, but it was brilliantly, laugh-out-loud funny. And oh so sing-able. And oh so dance-able. :-)

Sorry.

All my good stuff's been in other people's comments lately.

I'll work on that this weekend.

We hit 70° here today. In November. In Upstate-almost-Canada-NY. I had to reapply my deoderant. It was a glorious day.

Okay, here's a quick rant and rave.

Rants:

• having to pee all the time
• not being able to drink my wine because of medicine to help me stop having to pee all. the. time.
  
• kids bickering
• deoderant that fails
• having to cook dinner. Every. Night.

Raves:

• sunny days
• barefeet
• autumn leaves
• a good sale (an embellished tee from SteinMart that was 50% off and even more off with a loyalty card - $3.83! And a pair of long dark denim shorts by Nine West that came to 10.03 with those discounts!)
• good neighbors
  

Enjoy the day!

Oh, and go on over to www.bloggerschoiceawards.com and vote for ournameisblog as the best hobby blog. She's so much more than just a hobby - but she's funny and has a Sexy Husband and gives away major cute stuff!

I have a question....

You can email me if you don't want to publicly comment.

I'm not usually overtly political. But in a low-key way I tend to have liberal leanings and a maybe a bleeding heart.

But I have diverse friends, including Blog friends who are more conservative. I try not to offend - either politically or religiously.

I've noticed Facebook updates, Twitter updates, and Blog posts and comments that indicate that those of you who are McCain supporters (and I respect that) are not only disappointed in Obama's win, but fearful of our country's future.

My question is why? I can understand differing views on economic policies, taxes, social welfare issues, etc. But why the fear?

I've seen comments about getting a gun, hiding a gun, stocking up on ammo, moving to Canada, surviving somehow, about Obama being part of a sleeper cell, about Iraq and Afghanistan celebrating his win....

What is it that you are afraid of with his election?

I admit that I supported his campaign. I'm also on the fence about how his tax proposals will affect my family. But I agree with most of his positions and philosophies.

I disagreed with some/ much of McCain's positions (and really thought his VP pick was inappropriate from an experience point of view), but I would not have been "fearful" if he had won. Disappointed, yes. But not fearful.

And I thought McCain's concession speech was gracious. He reminded me of the McCain that I supported 8 years ago. I thought last night's speech was better than any of his campaigning.

Will any of you be willing to explain it to me?

Is it economic and foreign policy? Is it experience?

Is it rumors/ fears about his cultural or religious upbringing?

Is it, dare I say it? Race?

You can use the anonymous comments if you prefer.

I'll be glad...

...when this is all over and we can get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I am so tired.

But so excited.

And so ready for change.

This is past my bedtime people. And I just can't have that. Not without a party. And this is not a partying house this week.

On the lighter side....

Okay everyone, I really, really, really hope you voted or are on your way to vote.

Because this can be a tense, stressful day, I suggest you raid your kids' Halloween candy (if there is any good chocolate left - if not, go out and buy your own. You do have a job, don't you?) and then read this.

All the way to the end.

If you're offended by the first letter, you'll be rolling on the floor with the second one and patting yourself on the back and popping open a beer.

If you love the first letter, crack open that nice bottle of wine and roll your eyes at the second one.

See? Everyone can be happy here.

Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty.
You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% believe that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Peace out,
Blue States


Dear Blue Places,.
We've decided to kick you out. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking all Red Places with us..

The Blue Places include Southern California, the gay region surrounding San Fransisco, Hawaii, Western Oregon , Washington , Northern Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation.

To sum up briefly: we get Texas , Oklahoma and all the other Energy producing States, and States with Gold, Uranium, Iron, Copper, Silver, Granite, Coal, and Limestone. You get some trees, and a volcano or two.

You get the Statue of Liberty. We get the Alamo. You get Intel, Apple and Microsoft. We get AMD, Dell, and IBM. You get Harvard, Standford, and Brown. We get Rice, SMU, Texas A&M, Duke, Notre Dame, Purdue, UNC, Wake Forest, BYU, Baylor, Boise State, Oklahoma, and Texas.

We get 90% of America 's refining capacity, 90% of her chicken, pork, and beef, 90% of her grain farmlands, milk and egg production, and a healthy dose of entrepreneurs. You get Brooklyn. You get two-thirds of the tax revenue (because y'all have the most population); we get a Tax Rebate because we intend to make y'all pay 90% more for gas and heating oil. If y'all want cheaper oil y'all will have to drill on your own. We're joining OPEC.

Please also be aware that the Red Places will have every major military installation of the former United States within our territory. All armored and infantry divisions, all combat fighter wings, all strategic bomber forces, all strategic missile forces, and three major naval ports, including both the pacific and atlantic fleets. We will be sending all 5 of your citizens now deployed to Iraq back to their homes effectively immediately. The two Californians, the guy from Queens, the guy from Oregon, and the girl from Westchester can be expected home next week. We will replace these kitchen staff with some recruits from the Yukon, the newest member of our confederation. If you need people to fight for you, ask your gang members in east LA, New York, Chicago, Atlanta, New Jersey, or any one of the urban ghettos which you breed so many violent people... Don't worry about the Navy most of the people onboard the ships are from Red States and will be moved to one of our bases.

You get Hollywood. Yay! You get the Yankees and the Red Sox. Yay! We get the Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, Broncos, and the Titans.

You get Sunset Blvd. Yay! We get the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Devil's Mountain, Black Butte Ranch, the Rockies, the Klondikes, and the vast Alaskan wilderness.

By the way, we're taking all of the good tobacco, Beer, and whiskey.

Only Blue State wimps serve wine and cheese.

Oh and we are loaded for bear. We own 90% of all private firearms. You mess with one of us you mess with all of us and we'll nuke you sorry sons of guns (word substituted) back to the stoneage.

Comprende Kimosabe?

Rock On,
Red Places

Now, don't forget to vote!

A true Kodak moment

Politics aside, (oh who am I kidding? I'm biased)

...isn't this a great shot?

Rants and Raves

I should probably be honest and just call today's post "bitch and moan", because there's not much I will rave about today.

Rants:

• husbands who are too "sick" to come to the dinner table 2 nights in a row, but who are well enough to drag themselves out of bed for golf.
• children who bicker and then hurt each other. physically. when I don't feel well enough to kick their collective you-know-whats
• husbands (can you sense a theme here?) who drag themselves off the couch to grab a bite to eat after the football game, then leave all the serving dishes out on the counter for the kitchen clean-up fairy to take care of when you are already up in bed with a back ache
• husbands (yes, again, blame it on pms and kidney stones) who mutter and groan that they will have to go to work because of a meeting and say "yeah, I guess so" with reluctance when you ask if they are available to help with hockey pick up or drop off tonight. (despite the fact that you are going to work Even Though You Have Kidney Infection (Acute) That is Giving You a Holy Hell Back Ache)
• missing your mother when you don't feel good even though you are 46 years old.
  because sometimes mom is the only one who understands.
• children ( variation on a theme) who think that just because they are 13, they can say and do whatever they want.

Raves:

• Halloween candy. Anything chocolate
• cats who snuggle (I know I've said that before)
• friends
• tomorrow (November 4th in Upstate NY) could be 70 degrees.
  
• that's worth repeating - 70 degrees! Yippee!

Update, more raves:

• winning contests!
  
• Our Name Is Mud and Lorrie from Our Name is Blog
  

Whine over.

Sorry, I know this should be a witty, amusing list of rants and raves; and as I look back over it, it's not very witty or amusing. But, it is what it is and I'm leaving it.

One More Day...

PLEASE VOTE!

Yes, it *is that important.

Thank you.

Why?

....on earth did my dear husband tell Number One Son he could have a sleepover?

DH doesn't feel well. He has a cold, poor thing. He had no appetite to come up and join us for dinner. He spent the afternoon in his man-cave.

I can't complain about that. I spent the afternoon napping in my bedroom with a heating pad.

I have to leave at 8:45 AM for church. Yes, I know we get an extra hour of sleep.

The house needs a fairy godmother to whip things into shape.

I have lower back pain and general malaise. See previous post.

I want to go to bed.

Now.

I think I should be dressed and coherent when L's mom drops him off. I suppose it wouldn't seem right if she came to the door and both of Mickey's parents were asleep.

But that's exactly *why we shouldn't be having a sleepover.

Of *course DH said yes. *He won't be doing any supervising.

And *he doesn't have to get up for anything tomorrow.

Oh, wait, I forgot. He's playing golf. I wonder if he'll be well enough?

answers

Well, I've been kind of a whiner lately. Just been "off".

Out of sorts, a slacker, tired and achy.

I attributed it to the "crud" that's been making the rounds. Or middle-age. Or eating too many dark chocolate rockin' nut road Snickers. or raking leaves. Or a combination of all of those things converging in a cosmic "screw you, take better care of yourself" kind of message.

Well, on Wednesday (which I thought was going to be an enjoyable beer and sweet potato fries interlude at the hockey rink); I started to feel achy, like I was sitting wrong and got a back ache. I felt "full" and didn't want to finish my beer (Brooklyn Brown ale!).

It hurt so bad, I was almost in tears on the drive home. I got a hot pad and some tylenol and tried to sleep.

I got up multiple times in the night with a stomach ache.

I threw up.

WTH? It was only one beer!

My back was KILLING me.

I felt like a whiner.

I went to work on Thursday. I was uncomfortable and not very productive.

Thursday night I took a Vicodin leftover from my surgery. At least I slept.

On Friday, I felt nauseous again. I cried in the shower.

I really felt like a whiner.

A friend suggested I call my doctor. Oh, no, I said, it's only a back ache.

At 3:30 PM on a Friday (Halloween! Trick or Treaters! My husband's birthday! Number One Son needs me to drive him to hockey practice! I'm too busy) I called the doctor.

My doctor had no appointments for two weeks.

That clearly was not going to work.

They got me an appointment with another doctor in the practice ( I hate that) (but I'm grateful for it) for Monday afternoon.

When I asked what I could do for the pain over the weekend, I was urged to go to the local emergency care clinic.

I went at 6 pm, after dh said he could pick up NOS from hockey.

It was a nice facility very close to home and was not busy. I was seen within 10 minutes.

I have a kidney infection (acute - I apparently don't do things half-assed) and possibly (probably) kidney stones.

Ahhh. Relief. Answers. A diagnosis.

Now, at least I don't feel like a slacker and whiner. This is real, not just middle age and being out of shape.

I don't feel better yet, except mentally. It's good to know what's going on.