Chemo, Round 2

This post should have been written last Thursday, I'm *already a blogging slacker, oops.

Round 2 went well. I had great visitors and the time passed quickly. 
The next two days were actually better than the first time - I think it's because last time I had the lingering effects of the anesthesia to deal with. I managed to go out on Friday night for dessert (my birthday!) and for dinner on Saturday, so I'd say that counts as success. On Sunday, I drove to Niagara to pick my daughter up from Sibling Weekend with her brother.  I'll admit, I was pretty tired when I got back home, but that's ok for a Sunday. 
Queasiness seemed to be in check until Monday morning when I tried to take a whole handful of vitamins and pills and managed to induce my gag reflex. I can't say that it's a chemo side effect as I think I caused it. Won't be doing *that again. 
Now, it's Tuesday, and the tide is turning - Tuesday is the day that I can start to drink chilled liquids without feeling like my throat is full of daggers. I still get pins and needles in my fingers and toes, but it's just a minor annoyance. 

and the beat goes on

So, last weekend was an "off" weekend - no chemo and the start of our February school vacation week. Due to my next scheduled chemo, I couldn't take off the whole week, but I was still determined to go on an adventure with my 15 year old daughter. We had a condo for the week near Atlantic City, so we loaded our car and took off on a road trip. 
We checked in on Saturday night, and on Sunday morning it was chilly, bright and sunny so we took off for the beach. We took lots of beach photos and walked on the boardwalk - much more enjoyable (to me) in the off-season. 
(Photos later)
Then we met my cousins and uncle for  lunch and exploring the outlet mall. Then back to the condo for dinner, birthday celebrations and lots of laughs.  Did I mention we all got to feel the baby kick in my cousin's womb - she's over 40 so woohoo!

Had a sleepover with one of my cousins and her teen boys - then off to the beach and boardwalk again for more photos and wonderfully tacky souvenirs. 
Then to Haddenfield, NJ for paint your own pottery.

Monday night we left the teens at the condo, while we went to The Golden Nugget for cocktails and slot machines. We were no doubt, part of the younger demographic, but the parking was free and the bartender made some pretty fancy-schmancy tasty cocktails.

Tuesday morning was bright and sunny in AC, but an hour away, another cousin got 5 inches of snow and a 2 hour school delay!

...more later

I aM a RoCkStAr!

5 whole minutes with the doc after waiting an hour 

That wasn't so much fun.

But I am a RoCkStar 


He said I was doing great and however I felt last week is how I can expect to feel - so that's not bad - and don't need bloodwork -yippee!

Basically, I felt tired and a little"yucky" on Saturday and Sunay with some pins and needles in my fingers and toes and cold sensitivity in my throat. By Monday I had lots of energy and met my boyfriend for a drink. I can live with that. :-)

Saturday (barring any more snowstorms) I'm heading to Atlantic City and Philly for a few days. Life goes on!

Day 1 - and so it begins

Day 1 - Chemo
The road to recovery.

Day 1 done. 

I feel fine.

Worst  part was waiting an hour and a half to have the pump attached to go home.

Most annoying part? The heavy pump in a FANNY PACK! So I switched it to an over the shoulder VB messenger bag ;-)

Best part(s)?

• Alice's company
• A corner room with a view
• Nathan's soup served for lunch - yum!

Actually, yesterday might be considered Day 1 - I had the medical port inserted in a surgical procedure that involved general anesthesia and some hydrocodone to take home just in case. I wasn't too uncomfortable though and the port will make it easier and more comfortable to receive medicine and to take blood work.

New Beginnings

oh, there's so much to tell, where do I start?

2013 was MY year, a fresh start, new beginnings.
At least it started out that way.
My divorce was final in January.
My son turned 18 and was accepted to a very nice college (about an hour and a half away - close enough, yet FAR enough, ykwim)
I started dating.
Well, dipping my toes in, so to speak. A few online profiles, a few fun dates, some nice friendships, and no one too creepy. ;-)

Life was (is, really) good. 

I was busy. Having fun.
Navigating a social life.
Solidifying girlfriend relationships. If you're of a certain age, you *know how important those are, and how rare to find new, real friendships at a certain time of your life. I mean, it's fairly routine as a kid, at college, as a new mom... but when you're 50 and starting over? Not so easy.

I feel VERY fortunate to have made new friends and GOOD friends in the past 5 years of my life. They are so so important, especially right now. Oh, SO important.

I met a man in the fall and I stopped dipping my toes in. I got both feet wet. And then dove in.  It was exhilarating. Fun. New. And I'm not (wasn't) looking for a relationship. Not searching for a partner, or a soulmate, or whatever. But I am happy to have affection and companionship and the thrill of getting to know someone new. 
That's enough for now. :-)

But 2013 did not end as well as it started out.
I (and all of you) should get a colonoscopy when you turn 50. I procrastinated. Because, well, who really *wants to have a scope and a camera up their rear?
Anyway, some symptoms (I'll spare you the details) seemed to be a part of the aging process.. could have been a developing lactose intolerance, or gluten sensitivity... but not enough to impact my life or cause undue alarm. I knew I needed to schedule a colonoscopy and started digging out the old referral. Then a few more symptoms started emerging in the fall. A bit of blood, that's all I need to say, and the colonoscopy was scheduled for early December. 
The prep, I won't lie, is not fun. Laxatives and a liquid diet for a day. But the procedure is done under anesthesia and is fine.

They found a polyp. 
Fairly large - 5 cm. That's about 2 inches. So, right before Christmas (yay!) I went for a cat scan. Then a sigmoidoscopy (think colonoscopy, but without the anesthesia.) You're awake, the dr is chatting away. I ended up playing Words with Friends and facebooking photos of me in a hospital gown. Then an ultrasound.
Then a meeting with a colorectal surgeon the day before Christmas Eve.
At lunch that same day, his office called and suggested surgery on 12/31.
YiKeS!
Everyone said - "Start out the New Year with it out of your body", "Get rid of it and be done!"
So, surgery it was, on New Year's Eve. Morphine is not quite as celebratory as champagne, but with the help of my brother and sister-in-law and some VERY GOOD friends, I made it through the hospital stay in fairly good spirits. 
The worst adjustment was the realization that because of the location (and size - a SOFTBALL) of the tumor and nature of the surgery, I would need a colostomy, an ileostomy actually (*you can google it. It's my reality for the next 6 months, but I'm not enamored of it), to allow my rerouted colon to heal. *I thought that would be for 8 weeks or so, and I started counting down the weeks.
But nooooo, although the margins of the tumor were clear and the dr was certain he'd gotten all the cancer, pathology showed cancer cells present in 3 out of 34 lymph nodes removed. Automatically bumping me from a stage I to a stage III diagnosis with chemo and radiation in my future. 

.... more to come. 

Keep your chin up. That's what I'm doing. 

Not Dead Yet

True is so very many ways.
It's been almost 2 years since I've blogged, and almost 3 years since ive been here with any regularity and so very much has happened. Some awesome, some mundane, and some bittersweet.
But mostly New Beginnings which is pretty awesome.
I'll be back, but first I need to get a proper keyboard. My Mac died and typing on an iPad is less than ideal.
Stay tuned.