Key West

So, we take an incredible road trip to Key West and what happens? My camera battery is "exhausted". Boohoo, that's why we took it on vacation. :-)

This is all I got.

Yes, it pains him to be seen with me. :-)

Sorry, just turn your head sideways.

HapPy NeW YeaR!

More Flo-rida

Yup. I know it looks ridiculous.
I bought it to drive my teen-aged son crazy.

Worth every penny.

Why?

Can you see the ruffles? They're an especially nice touch.
I think she's like, 67. You can't see it here, but there's a matching pink hair bow attached to the side.

I'm thinking I obviously don't have enough self-confidence.

I did it

i

I got Twilight from my daughter for Christmas and I just finished it on the beach.


I'm hooked.

And I don't even like vampires or silly teen romance novels.

Aaaahhhhh, Good Morning

We went from this....

To this.....

Oops, I can't always figure out how to rotate these. I mean, I rotate them, then when I cut and paste they're sideways again.

Ack.

I have my doubts...

But, hey look!

Movie Reviews

I saw this over at Laura's blog. Cute, huh?

They (the people who calculate it) have *obviously never played Scrabble with me. ;-)

The cardinals were here again today. :-)

The cardinals (both male and female) were at the feeders and on the deck this morning. I haven't seen them in a while, and this was a treat.

Merry Christmas!

MerrY CHriStMaS

to all,
and to all a Good Night!

I hope you ALL have a wonderful, maGical, haPpY, HeaLthY hoLLy, JoLLy Christmas Day!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

My Festivus Miracle!

But first, one more grievance to add.

Well, maybe 2.

First, I hate it when cars and trucks go the wrong way in a one way parking lot. There's van that always is entering the exit driveway of our church parking lot as I'm leaving our lot. He's looking for a short cut to the group home next door and it ticks me off, especially because he never acknowledges that he's going the wrong way.

Second, I have a habit of tucking my cell phone under my legs crotch when I'm driving. This often means that it flies out of the car when I swing my legs out and forget that it's there. (you can insert tasteless remark here if you wish). Usually this results in the back coming off and me swearing. I usually notice this right away.

The grievance? I did it again tonight. I was wearing a big bulky winter coat. It was dark. And slushy. I didn't realize that I had no cell phone until I was inside Barnes and Noble 10 minutes later. I pulled out of my parking spot and realized it wasn't in the car.

My Festivus Miracle:

I circled the parking lot and pulled up next to where I had parked (of course there was already another car there) and THERE WAS MY CELLPHONE! Woohoo! Not crushed, not broken, and not ruined. :-)

One other Festivus miracle: DH is walking around again with less pain! Can I get another Woohoo!?

Thank you.

Festivus for the Rest of Us!

Any Seinfeld fans here?

Today marks the celebration of Festivus

After dinner, we'll begin with the Airing of Grievances, followed by Feats of Strength.

You know, for real, when my DH was in the throes of his Griswold-style outdoor decorating with lights; we had a Festivus Pole. It looked quite festive in the dark, lit up May Pole style with lights (although technically a Festivus Pole should really be undecorated); but in the light of day it looked quite tacky. Strings of lights lose their magic when exposed to daylight - especially when the snow melts.

So, what are your grievances?

Here are a few of mine:

• uncooperative hair (you know what I mean, the day you go to get your haircut, it comes out AMAZING and the the day you NEED it to look great, it won't cooperate, no matter how much ranting and raving, coaxing or bribing you do)
  
• calories. need I say more.
• siblings
• the slushy ice that gets caught in your wheel well, making your tires balk and make a grinding noise at the slightest turn of the wheel. It's hard as a rock.
• the fact that I feel like I broke my big toe after trying to kick that stupid slushy ice off the wheel well.

I've aired a lot of my grievances over the past few weeks, so I think I'll stop here.

Feel free to leave your Grievances in the comments section.

I'm on the lookout for a Festivus Miracle. Seen any in your neck of the woods?

A holiday gift from me to you

The gift, of course, is BACON.

I found this site on The Junk Drawer that will baconize any web site simply by adding its URL to the end of it.

Here is the site: http://bacolicio.us/

If you’d like to see this site in all its bacon glory, click this: http://bacolicio.us/http://www.kwr221.blogspot.com

Freaky and delicious! Just a little sumthin' from me to you. Because EVERYTHING tastes better with bacon.

You’re welcome. Actually, you can thank Kathy over at The Junk Drawer.

Flip Video Camera Giveaway

No, not mine, unfortunately.

But 2 bloggers are hooked up and giving away a Flip. How cool is that?

They both love the features - like it's small ( 4.17" x 2.16" x 1.25"), easy to use, you can upload to AOL, blogs, YouTube, etc, and there's a cool underwatercase.

So, if you're intrigued, head on over to PlusSizeMommy.blogspot.com or INeverGrewUp.net and check out the rules. Also, go on over to theflipstore.com to check out the features.

Good luck!

A Christmas Survey

Okay, this is going around on several blogs, but I got it from Lorrie.

WRAPPING PAPER OR GIFT BAGS? Gift bags when I can. Usually recycled. SOmetimes I've even recycled wrapping paper, too. (Thanks, Mom!)
REAL TREE OR ARTIFICIAL? ANGEL OR STAR ON TOP? Real tree. We've gotten it from the same guy for about 14 years now. In the dark. My son says that's part of the tradition now. He has little ornaments for the kids and peanuts in the shell and hot cocoa in his barn. And we have a bald Swedish straw angel on top.

EGGNOG-YES OR NO? Hell yeah!

HARDEST PERSON TO BUY FOR? I'll flip that and say the easiest person to buy for is my DD. I totally "get" her. My Mom was always easy to buy for, too. DH is pretty hard to buy for because he doesn't wait. If a new CD that he wants comes out on December 12th, he'll buy it.

DO YOU HAVE A NATIVITY SCENE? Yes, I've had it forever. it's wooden and very folk -arty

FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIE? The Christmas Story, of course - It's a Major Award!
Here's one I added: WHAT DO YOU LEAVE OUT FOR SANTA? Risgrot. This is Swedish rice pudding. We serve it on Christmas Eve with a whole almond hidden. Whoever gets the almond wins a small prize.Actually, we leave it out for the Tomte. We also leave cookies and milk for Santa. :-)

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? The sing along Mamma Mia DVD. :-)
And whirled peas, of course. ;-)

I'll take any luck I can get

Despite everything lately, I've had a wee bit of luck yesterday and today.

Yesterday, as I was shoveling the front sidewalk in the midst of the snowstorm, the lens of my eyeglasses fell out.

No, that wasn't the lucky part. I immediately froze and thought to myself, "Self, this is bad".

Actually I said something a bit worse. You know how quiet it is in the middle of a snowstorm? Yeah, everything echoes. Very clearly.

To any neighbors who were offended - I'm sorry. Really, I was raised better than that. Except that I forgot most of it (so don't blame my parents); which most of you know anyway since you often hear me yell at my kids when we're getting in the car.

So, did I toss it to the left with the last shovelful? Did I step on it? Can I ever find it? The snowflakes were quickly covering what I just cleared and I thought surely I was $%*&@#.

But, MIRACLE of MIRACLES, I found it. Whew. That was the lucky part.


DH and I are going to St. Kitts in February. Without kids.

wink,wink.

And while you don't need a passport to enter St. Kitts, you do need one to return to the US.

One problem. I haven't been able to find mine in 3 months of looking. I sorted through the dusty shoe boxes under my bed, cleared out the piles on the kitchen counter and in the cabinet where such things are kept. Searched old purses, peeked into jewelry boxes, and drawers...

I was getting desperate. Did I even have a certified copy of my birth certificate needed to get a new one? Did I even have enough time?

This morning I looked in the drawers and baskets in my bedroom that I've already searched before. Just for good measure, I looked AGAIN in the magazine basket and I saw a brown envelope.

Addressed to me. At the Marriott in Palm Desert, CA. The same envelope my neighbor used to mail me my passport when I was on vacation 2 years ago and thought we might drive across the border to Mexico.

Yippeeee!!!!

More luck.

Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket.

Randomness, sorry- no debauchery

I didn't take any pictures of debauchery this afternoon. Sadly, it is lacking around here.

I did however, find lots of randomness.

I'm having some glögg, so there may still be some debauchery later.

These are in a really random order, because figuring out how to sort them is apparently beyond me.

Outside my front door. It continued to snow loooong after this pic.
My house, tonight, around 8 PM
My screen shot this afternoon. I pretty much did this all afternoon instead of anything remotely productive.
A random Santa who looks like he's staring RIGHT AT ME.
Clearly, one of the kids has been mucking around with my cute little gel letters. Hmmmm. No one admit it. Perhaps it was a drunken elf.
Inside, looking out. No WAY was I going out.
Random troll. Hasn't found a home yet. Used to live at my grandmother's in FL. She died last year just after her 100th birthday. What should I do with it?
A creche that was also my grandmother's. This is a treasure. Although the star on the roof broke. I can fix that.
Yes, it's dusty. Shut UP. I already told you I was Very Busy this afternoon. (see photo #3 if you forgot)
This little Swedish tomte looks a little debaucherous. He's very old and a little tipsy in his perch.
Demon cat, Toby. He's very, annoyingly affectionate. But he eyes are weird here.
Koala. She only snuggles DD. And even then, it's usually in the form of camping out on her bed. You can only see a lock of her hair, but that's DD next to her in bed.
This is the bigger shot of the rest of her room.
There are just no words for this. DD moved her desk, her dresser, and her bed and this is the wreckage that was the result of her "cleaning up". Yeah, that's what I thought too. She said, "Mo-ooom, I'm not done yet. I had to put this stuff in the middle so I could sort it". Yeah, that was 2 or 3 days ago.

Thank goodness my kitchen chaos is out of the screen here. No, it's not as bad as DD's room. I just have piles of coupons and school notes on the kitchen counter.
The sparsely decorated tree.

What the duck

Bwahahaha.


For more amusing What the duck comic strips go to the Whattheduck website.

Foiled again

First, by an exhausted @@ camera battery, and now by 8 inches of snow.

When, oh, when will I be able to capture sightings of holiday sweaters and sweatshirts?

I'll just have to amuse myself with random pictures of the debauchery in my house and the snow piling up outside.

Be back later!

Wong-Baker FACES Pain Rating Scale

The Wong-Baker FACES Pain Rating Scale.

My husband is a 5 on this scale, but if he could put a number on it, I bet it would be a 50. It's all about the foot pain.

This is my face:
Except, well, I'm not wearing a tie.

And I'm not a guy.

And I'm wearing penguin PJs.

Totally busted by Miss Thystle. :-(
Those are not really my jammies. Mine are the flannel, button-front old man kind.
But with penguins.
And they are a lovely shade of lavender.
They came with free slippers.

Things I love

I love shoveling snow. (Not the driveway, mind you, just the sidewalk)

I love Chardonnay.

I love cats.

I love online shopping.

This is what I just ordered for my brother and sis-in-law. It's from the Wireless Catalog.

It's a birdhouse - 17 inches high - not an ornament - although that would be cute!

Really, it makes sense for them - we have a cabin in the Adirondacks that is *very rustic.

And I ordered a bunch of these as fun little gifts for my sisters-in-law

From, where else? Our Name Is Mud - one of my favorite whimsical pottery places and absolutely my favorite designer (:::waving:: HI LORRIE!)

And I just picked out some WII games from GameStop.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow......

STOOPID Men!

Arggghhhh. Just one man, actually.

I have been shopping for low-salt, low-carb, low-potassium foods for the past 2 weeks.

Measuring EVERYTHING, counting carbs, figuring out insulin ratios, keeping track of meds, googling new recipes, stocking up on healthy snacks, staying AWAY FROM my favorite saucy, savory, salty, carb-y foods.

And chocolate.

No, I'm not a saint. Quite the opposite, actually.

But dammit, I'm trying.

And after 7 days in the hospital, and just 5 days at home, DH tells me, "I'm not really hungry".

This, after I made roast chicken (okay, honest - I bought it at Wegman's), peas, salad, and farfaille pasta with parmesan.

F-I-N-E.

This, after he sniped at me over the weekend about the importance of regular meal times to regulate his blood sugar and insulin levels.

So he says to me.....

"How about a little ice cream? Just to change things up a bit. I don't feel like chewing"

(Granted, it's no sugar added ice cream, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT)

Chewing? WTF?

And he's bored ALREADY?

How the H%$$ can we change our diet to LIVE BY if he wants to cheat after 5 freakin' days? Mind you, last night he said the same thing and had cereal.

Ooohhhh, I'm so mad.

A few confessions

I'm slacking off a bit here lately.

So, I just have to get a few things off my chest.

• I bought my nieces' Christmas presents at Thanksgiving.
• I still haven't mailed them.
• They live in Chicago.
• I have no excuse.
  
• I have no idea what to get my brother and sister-in-law - they have no kids, so the pressure is on for something for them.
• My other sis-in-law said we should not do gifts for the older nephews anymore (her two and my other sis-in-law's) because they are all in college. What do you think? It would be an easy out for me, but I feel guilty? What is something cheap, fun and handy that I could send college boys to say Merry Christmas? Sort of a non-gift recognition?
• I can't seem to make any decisions. I just keep putting things in online shopping carts and staring at them.
  

• I put the tree up on Sunday.
• The boxes of ornaments are still strewn all over the living room floor.
• I let the kids put up their fav ornaments. I don't care if the rest don't go up.
• As much as I make fun of Christmas sweaters, I have a Christmas vest. Actually 2 of them. And ornament earrings.

• I let DD put tinsel on the tree. I am convinced that our cats will now suffer from bowel obstruction and it will cost a fortune at the Vet's
• It will also kill my vacuum cleaner

• I have no desire to send out Christmas cards and I'm sorry, I don't keep a list of who sends them to me - so if you skip me, you're off the hook.

• I am mentally exhausted from menu planning. I'm afraid that I will kill my husband with my favorite foods - all full of fat, delicious sauces, salt and kidney-damaging potassium. I was never that great a cook, but could pull off some really tasty dishes by relying on savory, unhealthy ingredients.
• I substituted Morning Star crumbles in the sloppy joes on Saturday and No One NOTICED.

• our beta fish died on Sunday.

• My house is seriously a wreck
• I can't seem to put things away or sort laundry
• I wish everyone would go away and leave me alone in the house for a week.
• we have no Christmas lights up outside

• I get stressed at the thought of gift-giving for teachers, bus drivers, newspaper deliverers, babysitters, cat-sitters, coaches, team managers, room parents, etc - where does it end? What if I leave someone out? Does it really matter anyway? What's too much? What's too little?
  
• It's enough to make you not get your haircut between Thanksgiving and New Year's and to quit all extracurriculars.

Wow. What a downer. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm updating sporadically. All this cheer would be overwhelming.

What I wouldn't give to go back in time when my most stressful thoughts were about finishing final exams and how to pack my crap to bring home for Christmas break.

So... skipping the over-18 nephews - good idea or bad? Will I be struck down and/or doom my children to leper status if I skip the obligatory teacher/coach/bus driver gifts? Tinsel - whimsical decor or evil? Re-using gift bags - cheap or environmentally and fiscally sound? Help me here people..... I'm wallowing.

Let them eat cake

Psst...that *is what Marie Antoinette said, isn't it?

Anyway, Sheree has nominated my blog for the Marie Antoinette award.

Woohoo! She must've thought it would cure me of my incessant whining.

This is what Sheree had to say about Marie Antoinette:
"For centuries, Marie has been reviled as a partying slut who lived a lavish life of excess. Of course I'd be given such an award. While my life and reputation are less historic, Marie and I have a couple of things in common. At her rustic retreat called the hemeau, "porcelain bowls were cast using Marie Antoinette's own ample breasts as their mould." Pottery. Breasts. Marie even rhymes with Sheree.

So, in honor of The Girls, I would like to recognize the following Blogs for their mammary contributions: Miss Thystle for her Remarkable Rack & bawdy sense of humor. Our Name is Blog for her Beautiful Berthas, her mojo & for inspiring me in everything she does. And though I know nothing of their boobage, I'd like to express my appreciation for Debbie from Suburb Sanity for her endless optimism & Kristin of kwr221 for listing religion as her industry while simultaneously drinking coffee out of a Bite Me mug."

So, I'm flattered, of course, but I have to confess... my girls are not as commentable as they once were.... but they are perky! They are no longer rubbing elbows so-to-speak with my naval (or is it navel?). No, they are now in their rightful place. So, The Rack is no more - I traded it in for a more wardrobe-and exercise-friendly version. Now I just gape in awe (and sometimes pity) of others. (Yep, I think it's navel)

Anywhoooo....
If you would like to accept this award, the original giver has included the following rules:

1) Please add the Marie Antoinette award photo on your blog.

2) Place a link to the person from whom you received the award.

3) Nominate 7 exceptional blogs to receive the award.

4) Put the links to those blogs on your blog.

5) Leave a message on their blogs to tell them they are the chosen ones!

Okay, like Sheree, I have a hard time following arbitrary rules... she tagged 3 bloggers for this award and ignored the 7 rules, so here goes: (I'm going to try and tag people that I haven't tagged before, but my memory is short, so don't shoot me if I'm inconsistent.)

• The Smartini Girls, because well, there's 6 of them so you never know what they'll serve up
  
• Living Laura - because I just like her and her cousin, Jenny Fabulous
  
• Andi at The Creative Junkie because she pees orange. Need I say more? Oh, and she knows what a YiaYia is. (Eh-hem, NOT a yaya like BJinDallas talks about)
  
• Stefanie at Stefanie Says because every day during NaBloMo or whatever it's called she entertained the internets with dating stories, not just any dating stories but computer matched dating stories. Good stuff.

So, that's 5. Go check'em out. Or off with your heads.

There's no cake, sorry. I ate it. Or maybe Heather did - it was carrot cake.

(It's definitely navel, not naval. Duh)

I really thought I found Lorrie's MoJo

....or at least mine.

DH came home yesterday.

My in-laws breezed into town for a 24 hour visit and brought spanakopita and much needed moral support.

My mother-in-law got to see Number One Son's Chorus concert. He won't be on American Idol anytime soon, but I'm glad he's in it.

(don't those boys look EXCITED to be singing?) lol

DH is HOME!

Did I mention that? :-)

And then there was today.

Here's a recap, if you're still with me: (I'll highlight the highs and lows)

Highs:

• DH is H.O.M.E.
  
• Morning coffee in my "Bite Me" mug from Sheree
• My doctor said my CT scan and other tests indicate my kidneys are fine
• I opened the bottle of wine DH and I bought this summer from a cute little winery in Niagara-on-the-Lake in Ontario, CA (that's Canada, not California)
• I used my "Mommy's Sippy Cup" wine glass from Lorrie

Lows:

• DH has gout. Yes, gout. No, he's not 87.
• He can't take the typical gout medication because of his kidneys
• I have some arthritis in my back. And bone spurs. Sounds like fun, huh? Now, I don't need a walker yet, but really? Arthritis? I'm only 46. Geesh.
• It's an adjustment to figure out medication and diet to make DH better. So yes, he's still a little crabby. I can deal.
• Number One Son got lunch detention today. He has no impulse control.
  
• He also has detention because he argued with his bus driver last week - that's an afterschool detention.
• My darling daughter was reaching for a cup from the cabinet and my sippy cup broke. Yes, *that sippy cup. Yup, my favoritest wine glass. :-(
  
• I lost both the wine and the glass. I even specifically put it on that counter to get it out of the way of the kids getting plates and stuff for dinner. Damn.
• I stepped on the wet carpet in my socks.
  
• Number One Son had hockey practice tonight from 8:10-9:10. That's bad enough, but I took him to the WRONG RINK. The one close to our house. And had to drive across town to the right one. He was Late. My Fault. Totally. (I don't think we need to tell DH, do you?)
• Tonight was supposed to be our big Christmas party. :-(

Yeah, the Lows list is longer than the Highs list. That's not good.

Have you ever read "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?
I think I'd like Australia.

Just sayin'.

At the end of the day, though, DH is still home.:-)

BITE ME!

I mean that in the nicest way.

I'll tell you the truth.

Today was really sucky. Skip this if you don't want to read whining and medical details. Go right to the bottom of the post.

DH called me at 7:00 AM and told me the surgeon thought his surgical recovery was good and there was no reason for him to stay in the hospital.

He said the kidney doctor had to sign off, but that he anticipated going home today.

I thought I'd go in to work (I totally missed yesterday while on hospital watch waiting for DH to come out of surgery and recovery - I finally saw DH after 5 and a half hours of waiting) and then go to the hospital to meet with the doctors, nutritionist, diabetes manager, etc, then TAKE HIM HOME!

Instead, he called at 8:45 and said the surgeon came in, and thought he'd be going home this morning - come now! Inconvenient, but do-able. I swung by church and told the pastor and went straight to the hospital. Yippee!!

He's been in the hospital since 10:30 PM LAST Wednesday. That's 5 days, 17 hours, 17 minutes, in case you're counting. If you're reading this after 3:45 PM, add more hours and minutes as appropriate.

Not so fast, campers, he did NOT, in fact go home today.

Anyway, SURGICALLY he's fine, but the medical team won't give him the all clear because of his kidney function. They're putting him on insulin, but aren't being consistent with it's management in the hospital. He has to test blood sugar before eating, but lunch came and no nurse or tech in sight to do the test. Then it took another half an hour to get the insulin shot.

The doctor ordered more blood work, so the nurse thought it could be drawn at the same time as they put a new IV in, if that was necessary. Turns out the new IV wasn't necessary, but the blood tech came to put in an IV and had no orders for the blood draw. Now, *every single person who has drawn blood or put in an IV has had trouble with his veins. They've frayed catheters, missed veins, pinched and poked and prodded until I can see bruises and pin holes up and down each arm and his hands. I've never seen anyone have so much trouble with needles. He's understandably cranky about this. We don't need ANY unnecessary pokes. It seems like it takes an act of Congress to get the various departments to communicate with each other. And it takes almost an hour to get a simple Tylenol (and that's after 45 minutes of getting a doctor to give the "order").

Oh, and here's a helpful tidbit for you....Advil and Aleve and like medications are VERY, VERY bad if you have any kidney problems and probably led to some of DH's issues.

After crying in the hospital, (partially out of frustration and sympathy and partially because he said something in jest about this being my fault and I. LOST. IT!) I left him as he was on his way to get an ultrasound to get more info on his kidneys. They may end up doing a biopsy later this week.

I cried in the hall. I cried in the elevator. I cried in the parking lot. I cried in the car.

This sucks. We're up to 5 days, 17 hours, 34 minutes and counting. I'm frustrated, tired, and cranky.

DH is tired, frustrated, and cranky.

Do the math. It's not a winning combination.

I have a headache.

Then I came home. There were several packages at the door.

THIS is the one that made me smile.
It sums up my frame of mind perfectly.

I put on a kettle of water, brewed a cup of Tazo cinnamon spice tea with honey and milk, and went right to the couch.

Thank you, Sheree, of Museware Pottery.
Poke around a bit, I'm sure you'll find the perfect mug for your frame of mind.

If you're looking for something a little racier, try her SwearWare Pottery. Warning: don't go if you're offended by swear words.

Anyway, you can also find her blog, Opinions of a Broad, here. She's funny, snarky, and refreshing, check her out.

If you're still counting, we're at 5 days, 17 hours, and 43 minutes.