oh, no WAY!

I've been dumped.

Or at least I think I have.

I could have SWORN I had 43 followers. ----> look at the box in the side bar

Now I only have 42.

:::sniff:::

I mean, I've come to expect that sort of thing from the fickle world of Twitter, where I'm *obviously not one of the cool girls, not part of the in-crowd, not a "must follow".

:::sigh::: but what did I do to one of you HERE?

I shower every day, I don't pick my nose, I don't divulge intimate sexual secrets (oh WAIT, maybe THAT'S the problem), comment excessively on bodily functions, or torture innocent kitties (hey, I have to draw my line in the sand - leave the kitties out of it)


Help me out here. Look again at the sidebar ------> click the little button that says "follow me" and add your smiling face to the college of those who come here to share my random thoughts.

I know this has been done before...

Gems from my inbox this morning:

• an email telling me to update my HSBC password. Ummm, I don't *have an HSBC account, dude
• I qualify for a Government Grant... I've been getting a lot of these lately. Maybe I've been foolishly ignoring them when really it's my fair share of the gazillion-bajillion bailout? I'll have to retrieve that one from my trash can. Right?
• free business cards - this is the 5th offer this week. Am I missing something?

• printer ink - like the 12th offer this week. ANd I don't even print that much.
• And this I haven't seen in a while...I was beginning to think that they cut me out of the will or something:
  

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIVISION ATM
DIAMOND BANK PLC BENIN
WEST AFRICA

ATTN MY DEAR
NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT OF ($2.5MILLIONS) TWO MILLIONS FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS IN ATM PAYMENT CARD TO BE SENT TO YOU THROUGH
WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER PAYMENT AND  THROUGH MONEY GRAM TRANSFER PAYMENT:
YOUR PAYMENT WILL SENDING TO YOU BY WESTERN UNION,AND BY MONEY GRAM THE AMOUNT
YOU WILL RECEIVE PER DAY IS $14,300USD,$7,150USD YOU WILL RECEIVE THROUGH
WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER AND $7,150USD YOU WILL RECEIVE THROUGH MONEY GRAM
TRANSFER.
THE MINISTER TRUST FUNDS OF BENIN REPUBLIC WILL SEND YOU THE CURRENTLY STANDARDS
TRACK DETAILS YOU NEED TO PICK UP YOUR ($14,300.USD) PAYMENT BY WESTERN UNION
AND MONEY GRAM, YOU WILL RECEIVE EVERY DAY TILL YOU RECEIVE THE $2.5MILLIONS
UNITED STATE DOLLARS, NOW NO NEED TO SEND YOU THIS ATM CARD BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT
BE ABLE TO WITHDRAW THE ATM CARD DUE TO THE ATM MASTER CARD CONTAIN LARGE MONEY
ON IT.
THE DIRECTOR ADMINISTRATOR TRUST FUNDS HAVE ALREADY SIGNED YOUR PAYMENT, NOW YOU
ARE FREE TO COMPLY WITH WEMACO PAYMENT OFFICE ON THIS EMAIL:
(bankbenininfofinancial6@gmail.com)
HOWEVER, KINDLY CONTACT THE BELOW PERSON WHO IS IN POSITION TO RELEASE YOUR
PAYMENT BY WESTERN UNION AND BY MONEY GRAM PER $14,300.USD A DAY.
MRS LULU MENSAH,WESTERN UNION DEPARTMENT
FINANCIAL BANK BENIN,
MOBILE: +229-9634-3602
E-MAIL: (bankbenininfofinancial6@gmail.com)
THE FINANCIAL WESTERN UNION PAYMENT CANTER AND FINANCIAL MONEY GRAM PAYMENT
CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT YOUR PAYMENT AND YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY
FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(S) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES
IN RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT.
NOTE THAT THE ADMINISTRATOR PAYMENT NEED THIS DETAILS FROM YOU TO PROCESS YOUR
PAYMENT:
RECEIVER NAME:-----------------
COUNTRY:-----------------------------
CITY ADDRESS:--------------------------------------
TEL:----------------------------------------
TEST QUESTION:--------------------
ANSWER:--------------------------------
COMPLY NOW BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU SENT THIS REQUIRED DETAILS TO MRS LULU MENSAH
HE WILL START SENDING YOUR PAYMENT BY WESTERN UNION AND BY MONEY GRAM REGARDS TO
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ,THANKS AND BE BLESS .
DR.CHRIS MOORE
THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIVISION

Omigosh.... $14,300 PER DAY! Woohoo!  BUT, I have to cease communication with any other persons or office.

But...but... what about my friends from Nigeria? I can't let them down.  They're COUNTING on me, dammit.

CaN THiS MaRRiAgE bE SaVeD?

Remember that column from Redbook or Family Circle, or whatever one it was?

Well, I submit my own version

• My husband is always COLD, I'm always HOT
• He wants to move to Florida when we retire, I like the four seasons
• I drink COFFEE. He does NOT. (That should sum it up, no?)
• I like spicy food, he does NOT
• I like pop music and classical, he likes old rock and roll - like Woodstock rock.
• I drink, him? Notsomuch.
  
• I read. All. the. time. Him? Maybe on vacation.
• I like to sleep with the window open, he likes to sleep with it closed. (no, wait. Sorry, that's a country song)
• He likes LOUD music, I like to hear myself think when the music is playing.
• I like LOVE cats. He only tolerates them because of me and the kids.
• I like walking and hiking (well, okay, not THAT much, but I'm still outdoorsy) and he doesn't.
• He could watch sports 24/7 on TV. I only want to see a sports event in person so I can have an ice cold ballpark beer and get a tan.
• He HATES cold weather. I don't mind it.
• He likes MIRACLE WHIP :::shudder::: I like real mayo
  

Now, lest you think we're totally doomed, we like to travel together. We both love boating, we enjoy concerts, and we like .... that...... and THAT, too.

.... oh, yeah... and that.

How about you?

Are you compatible with your spouse? Does it matter?

Overdue...

...but here it is.

The problem with waiting a few days to write my updates is that I FORGET all the good stuff. The witty stuff. The amusing details.

And so....
you are left with just a disordered (unordered?) list.

But, here goes.

Fellow blogger, Lea won the ChicBuds GiveAway; and I thought I'd save postage and give them to her in person.

Yes, I *know postage is cheaper than lunch, but it wouldn't have been NEARLY as much fun.


I got to meet her and 2 of her adorable children, Bubba and Lika. And OH, they WERE so ADORABLE.

We had lunch at Zebb's (yes, it's becoming a regular blog buddy meeting place).

Lika and Bubba warmed right up and soon were snapping pictures of everyone with my camera and sharing my salad and mac and cheese, because it was MUCH more fun than their pizza! Lol!
I spent the weekend as a chaperone/advisor at a church youth retreat. It rained.

A LOT.

Teens stay up LATE.

We lost an hour due to DayLight Savings Time.

Sunday breakfast was a half an hour earlier than Saturday's breakfast.

Does that sound like good planning?

:::YaWn::: I'm still tired.

But it was a GREAT weekend!

Our Name Is Blog: WHaT SaViNGS?

Our Name Is Blog: WHaT SaViNGS?

I'm trying to figure out how to show my post as linked to Lorrie's post...

and I've obviously mangled a step.

Oh, well.

ThIs Is FoR LoRRiE

DaYLiGhT SaViNgS TiMe SuCkS EgGs

.... at least for the first day or two.

Then it kind of rocks.

Weekend update later today with pics if I can get my internal clock in sync.

Go visit Lorrie and enter her contest. Or don't and allow me a better chance to win. because while I may have a cute mug and wine goblet, I do not have a super cute and witty wall clock.

Just a snack

...to tide you over until I can post again on Sunday.

You see, I'm packing my gear to spend the weekend sleeping on a metal camp cot, with no internet access and no wine. Well, there will be wine on Sunday, but that doesn't count.

I'm an advisor for the teen church-wide retreat this weekend.

Yes, I am.

Yes, of COURSE they've done a background check on me. And yes, I did pass, thankyouverymuch. Now shut UP.

I'm multi-dimensional.

Snarky and spiritual.

Anyway, this retreat is known as Winter Weekend.

Except that it'll be 50 degrees this weekend.

I'm packing my cute new rain boots, instead of snow boots.

I just came back from lunch with the winner of the ChicBuds giveaway, Lea, and 2 of her adorable kids.

I think I should go ahead and ask Zebb's to designate one of their table as the "Blogger Table", since this is the third Friday lunch I've had there with other bloggers from my upstate NY town.

Anyway, when I get back, I will post pics of my blogger lunch.

Have fun, see you on Sunday!

On holidays that are ruined by Hallmark and others

St. Patrick's Day may just be the last unspoiled holiday.

Think about it.

• Christmas - devoured by the pressure to get the perfect gift. and stocking stuffers. and cards. and office Secret Santas

• Valentine's Day - whether you're single or married, need I say more?

• Easter - somehow has morphed into another gift-giving occasion. Easter baskets and candy and Easter gifts and new dresses and shoes.

• Mother's Day - what to get your mother. what to get his mother. how to ooh and ahh over another clay ashtray or other craft doodad. and hope that if they cook for you, you don't get stuck with the clean-up.

• Father's Day - they only ever want ONE thing, no matter how thoughtful you are with your gift presentation

• Fourth of July - Someone always wants you to make your special potato salad when all you want to do is lay in the sun and take a swim

• Halloween - a sheet to be a ghost is no longer a good enough costume. And God forbid that you try to convince your child to wear last year's $49.99 costume with accessories that cost $19.99 each. You have to plan and shop and save for the. perfect. costume. Or, do a Martha Stewart impression and sew up a wonderful creation as a symbol of your love and status as a homemaker. And a bag of Hershey miniatures is no longer good enough, as the neighborhood children have a spreadsheet and keep track of which houses give out the cool candy. And you have to get candy, cards and treats for your kid's entire classroom. and teachers. and the lunch lady. and the bus driver. You know what I mean.

So, that leaves St. Patrick's Day. An excuse to have a nice cold pint, dye your hair green if you so desire and have fun. NO gifts. NO cards.

Nada.

Zip.

Just fun.

Now, aren't you getting excited?

A giveaway (not mine)

Do you like LIlly Pulitzer? Then go to thepreppyprincess.wordpress.com and check put the Latte-Da mugs and stationery set. There's still time tonight, but not much, so hurry!

They are giving away not one, but two items from the new line, both in the Cabanarama pattern, a prize package just perfect for sitting at your computer with a cup of coffee or tea.


Here's the contest link:

http://tinyurl.com/bxjbm3

Go visit my friend!

My Blog and Message Board friend, Barb, has posted *MY* recipe for Greek Spaghetti (well, actually, it's my Greek mother-in-law's recipe) over on her Blog, "Black Belt Scrapping" as her featured recipe on "Recipe Tuesday".

I mentioned yesterday that I was making Greek spaghetti for dinner since it's a favorite comfort food of my husband's. He hates the cold weather and is miserable, so I thought this dish would cheer him up a bit.

I'm flattered because she always has great recipes there with amazing photographs.

Disclaimer: the photo of the dish is mine and not up to her standards.


So, we love this spaghetti at our house; but it's not very tomato-y or saucy like Italian sauce. It's more of a spiced ground meat sauce with a cinnamon-y undertone. The details are on her blog.

She's an artist and a digital scrapper, so head over there and check out her blog. I love her photographs, especially how she gets them to "pop". I don't know the technical photo terms, but they are so clear and sharp.

Dig around a bit and I'm sure you can find her other delicious recipes from "Recipe Tuesday". She's always got something good and it's usually been "lightened up", which is a good thing for all of us.



PS - the link is fixed now. Sorry about that.

MuCho RanDoMnEsS

Okay, let's see....

Random stuff floating through my brain.

* Lately, I've been getting stuck on words or mixing them up. Signs of aging? A weird brain tumor? Normal? Typical brain fart?

Examples:

• I was trying to say the cat was heavy and I said he was "money"
• I said he was a cute dog (the Cat)
  
• I was trying to tell my daughter her jeans were in the laundry basket and I couldn't get the word "basket" out

* I was at the Dollar Store the other day and the check out girl was trying to close the lane so she could take a bathroom break.

She then proceeded to go into great detail about her bladder issues and about leaking and bladder infections.

Now, I know I may make the occasional foray into that territory in Blogland, and so do some of you (you know who I mean), but in the Dollar Store? Waaay too much info. Let me buy my cheap crap and get the heck outta there.

* I spent all day Saturday with 5000 teenage girls. I knew 6 of them. They all screamed a lot and had waaaay too much bouncing energy. But I had fun. Really. I didn't even come home and drink. ;-)

* I'm slowly making my way through 2 weeks worth of Real Housewives (caught up), Top Chef(Soooooo glad that Stefan did NOT win - he was insufferable), Big Love (whoa, Nicki! Watch out), Desperate Housewives (still behind) and Brothers and Sisters (still behind). Don't get me started on how behind I am on Lost. Not that it matters, because I don't understand it even when I'm caught up.

* I had a really great time in St. Kitts (Racie - you were sooo close if you were in Nevis) as soon as I can get DH to find the cords to download the still pics he took on the video camera, I will be happy to share. But in summary - sun, rum, fun.

Enjoy the day!

FiNallY, ThE ChiC BuD GiVeAwAY!

Okay, FINALLY, the giveaway. Since my lovely assistant was asleep last night, we got up at 6 AM to make this video. Please give us a break, we're new at this, so the quality is not great.

Thanks to all of you for entering. Those of you who are new, or lurkers, don't be strangers, come back again.




So, the winner (watch the video for the name, duh) has 48 hours to contact me with your name and address. Or else we do this again!

Enjoy the day!

PS, That is SO not my voice.
Is it?

A SeLfLeSs SaCriFiCe

Yes, for your amusement and to make sure that you can rest assured and KNOW that you are not as inept, forgetful, fashion backwards or unlucky as I am...

I will tell you about a few unfortunate incidents that have occured to me this week.

Exhibit #1

• I hid my work keys somewhere safe and I thought, handy; since I had no need for 3 dozen heavy keys from 3 different churches on my week-long jaunt about a Carribbean island
• I also cleaned out my car, so I wouldn't be *quite as embarrassed at leaving my 6 year old MomVan at the dealer's for a week
• I came home from vacation on Monday. As of 5 PM today, Thursday, I could not find them
• How well could I Freakin have hid them and WHATHAPPENEDTOMYMEMORY that I can't remember where I put them after only one week!!!??
• I'm beginning to panic here, people, this is not good for my blood pressure.
• I looked in a box in the laundry room
• I looked under my bed
• I looked in the shoe rack
• I looked in the garage
• I looked under the couch

Tonight at dinner, I found them.

In a box (aha! I KNEW it) that I had hidden under the skirt of the dining room chair I was sitting in. Yes, it was the first night this week that I actually sat at my dining room table. It's been a busy week back.

Whew.

Exhibit #2

• I went to get my hair cut today
• [on the plus side, my stylist (is that what you call the hair-cutter?) complimented me on the boxed hair color (medium brown) that I used on Monday in my desperation to hide my gray hair]
• on my way out, the receptionist asked me if I would like to have my eyebrows waxed for free.
• Hey! Wow! It's my birthday! Woot! Oh wait no, that was last week.
• Oh, shit. I must be bushy. No, wait, I don't have thick brows and while I'm pretty lax about tweezing, I don't have a lot of hair there and my brows have a pretty normal shape on their own.
• So, okay, why not? I explain to her that the last time I was waxed, I can still see some redness on my brow bone. A year later, people.
• I do realize that she is in fact, offering free waxing, not because I'm hairy or it's my birthday; but because she's trying to recuit new clients. Okay, cool.
• While in the chair (OUCHITHURTS!) she offers to do my upper lip area.
• F&*%, maybe I am hairy!?
• No, she says, even she (in all of her 24 years of glory) waxes there too. "Everybody does"
• Oh, hell, it's free too, so why not?
• HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD! WHATTHE H-- DID I JUST DO???!!!!
• That HHHHUUUURRRRRTTTSSS!
• I left sporting a lovely angry red puffy mustach and nuclear red eyebrows.
• And I had an errand to run at Wegman's. Such a lovely sight.
• Yeah, it was that pretty.
• Ummm, NO, there are no pictures.
  

About the GiVeAwaY

Okay, so I just came home to have my lovely assistant, Emma, pick a name for the contest and found her fast asleep on my bed.

:-(

With the TV on.

Despite the fact that her room wasn't cleaned.

From the tell-tale snores on the couch downstairs, I surmise that she wasn't well supervised in my absence.

Anyway, if I went ahead and picked a name without her, I would face an extremely disappointed genie tomorrow. (Oh, yes, she has assembled props for this event)

So, if I can rouse her early, I told her we'd shoot the video tomorrow before school.

Stay tuned, folks.

Testing

Okay, I got this cool signature from a link the ETW posted (thank you!)

But I'm an idiot and I can't figure out how to get it to be a part of my post template.

When I add the url, I get this:

http://www.mylivesignature.com/signatures/54487/90/0A3C0348987BD765FBF549B6D543A902.png

This is what I want, but I don't want to have to upload the picture file with every d&*% post.

Any ideas?

Please help me not be embarrassed!

Please go click here so I stay on the front page for more than 1 day.

I love you all and thankyouverymuch.


Okay, I *know it's silly, play along won't you? If you submit your blog, I'll click for you. ;-) Promise.

MWAH!

Oh...this pic is the one that I used for my blog image:
So, click on THAT one when you open up the Top Momma page. :-D

Back in the saddle again...

Or at least back in the US, home from sunny, tropical St. Kitt's.

I am hopelessly behind on all things blog related.

But I wanted to remind you that you can STILL enter the ChicBuds giveaway. (See previous post).

Yes, in another demonstration of the fine art of procrastination, I am swamped with back-to-work, back-to-school, catch-up-on-laundry stuff, so I don't think I will be able to have my lovely assistant, Emma, choose the winner until Thursday.

So, tell a friend, (or don't and keep your chances of winning at better odds). But really, tell your friends because ChicBuds are pretty cool and people should know about them. I read a Twitter that they're on RadioShack.com now. Go check them at at chicbuds.com and tell me if you don;t think they're the cutest. Really, I think you'll agree.

Oh, have I whined yet about how I left my camera charger AT HOME and thus my battery was EXHAUSTED by Monday and so, I have no pics, unless my husband can figure out how to get them off his video camera and onto a computer. DOn't hold your breath. Yes, indeed, after much handwringing and searching before I left, I found the camera computer cords, but FORGOT THE STOOPID CHARGER. Can you say "IDIOT". Yup, that was me.

Finally.... The GiveAway

Okay, so I've been MIA. I'm in St. Kitts, in the British West Indies and internet access costs $14.95 for 24 hours. Well, I've been offline for almost 3 days and I broke down tonight. DH is watching 24 and tomorrow AM he's golfing, so I can take my laptop to the pool deck and indulge without ridicule!

Sooo..... about the giveaway. I have one pair of black ChicBuds with blue swarovski crystals, courtesy of Kandi, from ChicBuds (You can follow her on Twitter... she's ChicBudsJr) Anyway, when I first heard about theses headphones, I thought they were just bling for your ears and Ipods. The first thing you notice are the cool colors and the crystals.

But that's not the best part.

They are RETRACTABLE!

Yes, they extend and retract so you can adjust them, depending on whether you're using them on your computer, Ipod, have them in your pocket, on your arm, whatever.

And NO MORE TANGLED HEADPHONES in your purse! (or where-ever!) That, to me, is the BEST part.

Really.

But the designs, colors and bling are cool too. Go on over to the ChicBuds website. Look at the designs to match your Ipod, designs for guys and all the colors of crystals.

So, leave me a comment, tell me about your current headphone woes, which design you like best (but remember the giveaway is for the black ones) My lovely assistant, Emma, will appear on video and choose a winner when I return.

Here I am wearing my ChicBuds on my way to my fabulous lunch with Heather and Andi. Yeah, I know, I never blogged about it. It was fabulous, they were witty and wonderful, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I sure hope they would too.

We interrupt ....

....this string of sad excuses posts for a little dish on RHOC.

Who watched?

For some good dish, go here or here.

My random thoughts:


Did you catch the cougar cousins line about the mouse tattoo? "Oh, you can't see it? Maybe the pussy ate it" Ick. Barf. Gag.

I couldn't believe the shit Vicki's son was giving her. She PAID for his cruise and he wouldn't go to her seminars? AYFKM?

Though there weren't many attendees, were there?

I wonder how much Gretchen keeps up with her college friends? Off-camera, I mean. GMAB, another girl's weekend? because she has such a rough life.

Kara was turning into a total bitch.. 2 floor apt, indeed.

Can't wait to hear about Jeana's date. Besides kids who treat her like crap, she seems so normal. And sad.

More excuses

Just so you know....

I would totally update my blog, but I can't seem to find the cord for my camera and so I can't download any pics. :-(

Weep with me for a moment.