STOOPID Men!

Arggghhhh. Just one man, actually.

I have been shopping for low-salt, low-carb, low-potassium foods for the past 2 weeks.

Measuring EVERYTHING, counting carbs, figuring out insulin ratios, keeping track of meds, googling new recipes, stocking up on healthy snacks, staying AWAY FROM my favorite saucy, savory, salty, carb-y foods.

And chocolate.

No, I'm not a saint. Quite the opposite, actually.

But dammit, I'm trying.

And after 7 days in the hospital, and just 5 days at home, DH tells me, "I'm not really hungry".

This, after I made roast chicken (okay, honest - I bought it at Wegman's), peas, salad, and farfaille pasta with parmesan.

F-I-N-E.

This, after he sniped at me over the weekend about the importance of regular meal times to regulate his blood sugar and insulin levels.

So he says to me.....

"How about a little ice cream? Just to change things up a bit. I don't feel like chewing"

(Granted, it's no sugar added ice cream, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT)

Chewing? WTF?

And he's bored ALREADY?

How the H%$$ can we change our diet to LIVE BY if he wants to cheat after 5 freakin' days? Mind you, last night he said the same thing and had cereal.

Ooohhhh, I'm so mad.

A few confessions

I'm slacking off a bit here lately.

So, I just have to get a few things off my chest.

• I bought my nieces' Christmas presents at Thanksgiving.
• I still haven't mailed them.
• They live in Chicago.
• I have no excuse.
  
• I have no idea what to get my brother and sister-in-law - they have no kids, so the pressure is on for something for them.
• My other sis-in-law said we should not do gifts for the older nephews anymore (her two and my other sis-in-law's) because they are all in college. What do you think? It would be an easy out for me, but I feel guilty? What is something cheap, fun and handy that I could send college boys to say Merry Christmas? Sort of a non-gift recognition?
• I can't seem to make any decisions. I just keep putting things in online shopping carts and staring at them.
  

• I put the tree up on Sunday.
• The boxes of ornaments are still strewn all over the living room floor.
• I let the kids put up their fav ornaments. I don't care if the rest don't go up.
• As much as I make fun of Christmas sweaters, I have a Christmas vest. Actually 2 of them. And ornament earrings.

• I let DD put tinsel on the tree. I am convinced that our cats will now suffer from bowel obstruction and it will cost a fortune at the Vet's
• It will also kill my vacuum cleaner

• I have no desire to send out Christmas cards and I'm sorry, I don't keep a list of who sends them to me - so if you skip me, you're off the hook.

• I am mentally exhausted from menu planning. I'm afraid that I will kill my husband with my favorite foods - all full of fat, delicious sauces, salt and kidney-damaging potassium. I was never that great a cook, but could pull off some really tasty dishes by relying on savory, unhealthy ingredients.
• I substituted Morning Star crumbles in the sloppy joes on Saturday and No One NOTICED.

• our beta fish died on Sunday.

• My house is seriously a wreck
• I can't seem to put things away or sort laundry
• I wish everyone would go away and leave me alone in the house for a week.
• we have no Christmas lights up outside

• I get stressed at the thought of gift-giving for teachers, bus drivers, newspaper deliverers, babysitters, cat-sitters, coaches, team managers, room parents, etc - where does it end? What if I leave someone out? Does it really matter anyway? What's too much? What's too little?
  
• It's enough to make you not get your haircut between Thanksgiving and New Year's and to quit all extracurriculars.

Wow. What a downer. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm updating sporadically. All this cheer would be overwhelming.

What I wouldn't give to go back in time when my most stressful thoughts were about finishing final exams and how to pack my crap to bring home for Christmas break.

So... skipping the over-18 nephews - good idea or bad? Will I be struck down and/or doom my children to leper status if I skip the obligatory teacher/coach/bus driver gifts? Tinsel - whimsical decor or evil? Re-using gift bags - cheap or environmentally and fiscally sound? Help me here people..... I'm wallowing.

Let them eat cake

Psst...that *is what Marie Antoinette said, isn't it?

Anyway, Sheree has nominated my blog for the Marie Antoinette award.

Woohoo! She must've thought it would cure me of my incessant whining.

This is what Sheree had to say about Marie Antoinette:
"For centuries, Marie has been reviled as a partying slut who lived a lavish life of excess. Of course I'd be given such an award. While my life and reputation are less historic, Marie and I have a couple of things in common. At her rustic retreat called the hemeau, "porcelain bowls were cast using Marie Antoinette's own ample breasts as their mould." Pottery. Breasts. Marie even rhymes with Sheree.

So, in honor of The Girls, I would like to recognize the following Blogs for their mammary contributions: Miss Thystle for her Remarkable Rack & bawdy sense of humor. Our Name is Blog for her Beautiful Berthas, her mojo & for inspiring me in everything she does. And though I know nothing of their boobage, I'd like to express my appreciation for Debbie from Suburb Sanity for her endless optimism & Kristin of kwr221 for listing religion as her industry while simultaneously drinking coffee out of a Bite Me mug."

So, I'm flattered, of course, but I have to confess... my girls are not as commentable as they once were.... but they are perky! They are no longer rubbing elbows so-to-speak with my naval (or is it navel?). No, they are now in their rightful place. So, The Rack is no more - I traded it in for a more wardrobe-and exercise-friendly version. Now I just gape in awe (and sometimes pity) of others. (Yep, I think it's navel)

Anywhoooo....
If you would like to accept this award, the original giver has included the following rules:

1) Please add the Marie Antoinette award photo on your blog.

2) Place a link to the person from whom you received the award.

3) Nominate 7 exceptional blogs to receive the award.

4) Put the links to those blogs on your blog.

5) Leave a message on their blogs to tell them they are the chosen ones!

Okay, like Sheree, I have a hard time following arbitrary rules... she tagged 3 bloggers for this award and ignored the 7 rules, so here goes: (I'm going to try and tag people that I haven't tagged before, but my memory is short, so don't shoot me if I'm inconsistent.)

• The Smartini Girls, because well, there's 6 of them so you never know what they'll serve up
  
• Living Laura - because I just like her and her cousin, Jenny Fabulous
  
• Andi at The Creative Junkie because she pees orange. Need I say more? Oh, and she knows what a YiaYia is. (Eh-hem, NOT a yaya like BJinDallas talks about)
  
• Stefanie at Stefanie Says because every day during NaBloMo or whatever it's called she entertained the internets with dating stories, not just any dating stories but computer matched dating stories. Good stuff.

So, that's 5. Go check'em out. Or off with your heads.

There's no cake, sorry. I ate it. Or maybe Heather did - it was carrot cake.

(It's definitely navel, not naval. Duh)

I really thought I found Lorrie's MoJo

....or at least mine.

DH came home yesterday.

My in-laws breezed into town for a 24 hour visit and brought spanakopita and much needed moral support.

My mother-in-law got to see Number One Son's Chorus concert. He won't be on American Idol anytime soon, but I'm glad he's in it.

(don't those boys look EXCITED to be singing?) lol

DH is HOME!

Did I mention that? :-)

And then there was today.

Here's a recap, if you're still with me: (I'll highlight the highs and lows)

Highs:

• DH is H.O.M.E.
  
• Morning coffee in my "Bite Me" mug from Sheree
• My doctor said my CT scan and other tests indicate my kidneys are fine
• I opened the bottle of wine DH and I bought this summer from a cute little winery in Niagara-on-the-Lake in Ontario, CA (that's Canada, not California)
• I used my "Mommy's Sippy Cup" wine glass from Lorrie

Lows:

• DH has gout. Yes, gout. No, he's not 87.
• He can't take the typical gout medication because of his kidneys
• I have some arthritis in my back. And bone spurs. Sounds like fun, huh? Now, I don't need a walker yet, but really? Arthritis? I'm only 46. Geesh.
• It's an adjustment to figure out medication and diet to make DH better. So yes, he's still a little crabby. I can deal.
• Number One Son got lunch detention today. He has no impulse control.
  
• He also has detention because he argued with his bus driver last week - that's an afterschool detention.
• My darling daughter was reaching for a cup from the cabinet and my sippy cup broke. Yes, *that sippy cup. Yup, my favoritest wine glass. :-(
  
• I lost both the wine and the glass. I even specifically put it on that counter to get it out of the way of the kids getting plates and stuff for dinner. Damn.
• I stepped on the wet carpet in my socks.
  
• Number One Son had hockey practice tonight from 8:10-9:10. That's bad enough, but I took him to the WRONG RINK. The one close to our house. And had to drive across town to the right one. He was Late. My Fault. Totally. (I don't think we need to tell DH, do you?)
• Tonight was supposed to be our big Christmas party. :-(

Yeah, the Lows list is longer than the Highs list. That's not good.

Have you ever read "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?
I think I'd like Australia.

Just sayin'.

At the end of the day, though, DH is still home.:-)

BITE ME!

I mean that in the nicest way.

I'll tell you the truth.

Today was really sucky. Skip this if you don't want to read whining and medical details. Go right to the bottom of the post.

DH called me at 7:00 AM and told me the surgeon thought his surgical recovery was good and there was no reason for him to stay in the hospital.

He said the kidney doctor had to sign off, but that he anticipated going home today.

I thought I'd go in to work (I totally missed yesterday while on hospital watch waiting for DH to come out of surgery and recovery - I finally saw DH after 5 and a half hours of waiting) and then go to the hospital to meet with the doctors, nutritionist, diabetes manager, etc, then TAKE HIM HOME!

Instead, he called at 8:45 and said the surgeon came in, and thought he'd be going home this morning - come now! Inconvenient, but do-able. I swung by church and told the pastor and went straight to the hospital. Yippee!!

He's been in the hospital since 10:30 PM LAST Wednesday. That's 5 days, 17 hours, 17 minutes, in case you're counting. If you're reading this after 3:45 PM, add more hours and minutes as appropriate.

Not so fast, campers, he did NOT, in fact go home today.

Anyway, SURGICALLY he's fine, but the medical team won't give him the all clear because of his kidney function. They're putting him on insulin, but aren't being consistent with it's management in the hospital. He has to test blood sugar before eating, but lunch came and no nurse or tech in sight to do the test. Then it took another half an hour to get the insulin shot.

The doctor ordered more blood work, so the nurse thought it could be drawn at the same time as they put a new IV in, if that was necessary. Turns out the new IV wasn't necessary, but the blood tech came to put in an IV and had no orders for the blood draw. Now, *every single person who has drawn blood or put in an IV has had trouble with his veins. They've frayed catheters, missed veins, pinched and poked and prodded until I can see bruises and pin holes up and down each arm and his hands. I've never seen anyone have so much trouble with needles. He's understandably cranky about this. We don't need ANY unnecessary pokes. It seems like it takes an act of Congress to get the various departments to communicate with each other. And it takes almost an hour to get a simple Tylenol (and that's after 45 minutes of getting a doctor to give the "order").

Oh, and here's a helpful tidbit for you....Advil and Aleve and like medications are VERY, VERY bad if you have any kidney problems and probably led to some of DH's issues.

After crying in the hospital, (partially out of frustration and sympathy and partially because he said something in jest about this being my fault and I. LOST. IT!) I left him as he was on his way to get an ultrasound to get more info on his kidneys. They may end up doing a biopsy later this week.

I cried in the hall. I cried in the elevator. I cried in the parking lot. I cried in the car.

This sucks. We're up to 5 days, 17 hours, 34 minutes and counting. I'm frustrated, tired, and cranky.

DH is tired, frustrated, and cranky.

Do the math. It's not a winning combination.

I have a headache.

Then I came home. There were several packages at the door.

THIS is the one that made me smile.
It sums up my frame of mind perfectly.

I put on a kettle of water, brewed a cup of Tazo cinnamon spice tea with honey and milk, and went right to the couch.

Thank you, Sheree, of Museware Pottery.
Poke around a bit, I'm sure you'll find the perfect mug for your frame of mind.

If you're looking for something a little racier, try her SwearWare Pottery. Warning: don't go if you're offended by swear words.

Anyway, you can also find her blog, Opinions of a Broad, here. She's funny, snarky, and refreshing, check her out.

If you're still counting, we're at 5 days, 17 hours, and 43 minutes.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

It's off to work hospital I go....
Yup, George says there's a flurry of activity and he was given no breakfast. They're prepping for surgery, so

{insert deep breath here}

it looks like they'll do the surgery today.

They won't do the endoscopic surgery though, this is full-on throat surgery so the surgeon can get a good look at all of the parathyroid glands.

Anyway, prayers for the surgeon's steady hand, for DH's peace of mind and for me to have patience with my children.

Because as much as they deserve some of it, they don't deserve all of my stress-aggravated impatience and witchy treatment. Aghhhh. We will get through all of this, but honestly, doesn't my self-centered Rude Teen-age Son know not to push my buttons and defy me on E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G when I'm already on edge?

And tell me this, is it unreasonable for me to expect my 13 and a half year old to set his own alarm clock and wake up semi-on-his-own? I tried waking him up and he ignored me. I made him walk today. Yes, I know it's like 6 degrees. I gave him a hat, he was wearing boots and a winter coat.

It's not that far a walk, really. He's tough and he walks on his own afterschool anyway. Well, not usually when it's this cold, but he'll survive and maybe not treat me like a jerk next time.

I know I'm a Mean Mom, but I want him to grow up to know his boundaries and right now he knows none. But that's another bitchfest post.

A mini-update

DH is in the hospital for the weekend, and possibly longer.

They may do the surgery on Monday or Tuesday.

He's tired and frustrated with being cooped up in the hospital and going through all the tests, and is antsy to get O-U-T.

It's hard to watch him go through this and know how to be helpful. He sounds depressed.

As much as I enjoy the time at home when he travels for golf or business, this is different and is Not Fun.

We were supposed to get our Christmas tree this weekend. Number One Son has an away hockey game on Sunday. We're supposed to see Mamma Mia on Wednesday. We're supposed to have a huge Christmas party at our house this coming Friday. We're supposed to go to Florida the day after Christmas.

Do you like give-aways?

or just want perfect holiday hair?

Then check out "A Daily Dose of Toni" She's got both.
(I love her url - juststopscreaming.com - lol)

Anyway, leave her a comment and you, too could be a winner with perfect holiday hair!

hyperparathyroidism - an update and a possible answer

and probably more than you wanted to know....

Thank you to all who have commented and emailed their concern and prayers about DH.

It seems there are 4 nodes near the thyroid called the parathyroid. When one goes out of whack (benign tumor), it causes calcium levels to rise (which is dangerous - can lead to arrythmia and stroke)

Calcium in bones = good, calcium in blood or urine =bad. Apparently it is leached from your bones.

Anyway, high calcium and dehydration can put a huge strain on your kidney function and can lead to failure. Right now, they are trying to lower the calcium level, rehydrate and stabilize his kidney function.

Check out these symptoms: I've highlighted DH's chief complaints.

Symptoms of Parathyroid Disease

	Loss of energy. Don't feel like doing much. Tired all the time.
	Just don't feel well; don't quite feel normal. Hard to explain but just feel kind of bad.
	Feel old. Don't have the interest in things that you used to.
	Can't concentrate, or can't keep your concentration like in the past.
	Depression.
	Osteoporosis and Osteopenia.
	Bones hurt; typically it's bones in the legs and arms but can be most bones.
	Don't sleep like you used to. Wake up in middle of night. Trouble getting to sleep.
	Tired during the day and frequently feel like you want a nap.
	Spouse claims you are more irritable and harder to get along with (cranky, bitchy). (we laughed about this - I told him this explained a lot, he said he had an excuse now)
	Forget simple things that you used to remember very easily.
	Gastric acid reflux; heartburn; GERD.
	Decrease in sex drive.
	Thinning hair (predominately in older females).
	Kidney Stones.
	High Blood Pressure (sometimes mild, sometimes quite severe; up and down a lot).
	Recurrent Headaches (usually patients under the age of 40).
	Heart Palpitations (arrhythmias). Typically atrial arrhythmias.

Most people with hyperparathyroidism will have 4 - 6 of these symptoms. Some will have lots of them. A few people will say they don't have any... but after an operation they will often say otherwise. 95% of people with hyperparathyroidism will have 3 or more of these symptoms. In general, the longer you have hyperparathyroidism, the more symptoms you will develop.

This gave us a little chuckle:

In many cases, it's the spouse or children who has detected a change in personality over the past several years -- "He/She is more cranky than he/she used to be; he/she has a shorter fuse and is quicker to anger than he/she used to be". In some cases, its ONLY the spouse who notices a big difference in the patient with the parathyroid problem, while the person with the parathyroid problem will claim they don't see much difference in their personality. After the parathyroid operation, spouses typically comment that their husband or wife sleeps better, can remember things better, and is easier to get along with -- "After the operation, he/she quickly returned to his/her old self again!". As Dr Norman says: "A good parathyroid surgeon can save a lot of marriages!"

blogging with my eyes closed

and a big mug of coffee in my hand (yes, it's my Our Name Is Mud Domestic Goddess mug)

DH has been feeling nauseous for about a month now, a lot of retching with nothing in his stomach. I finally convinced badgered him to call his doctor on Monday. Because, you know, it's a little weird to feel sick for a month and not have any interest in eating.

His dr ran some blood tests and based on those results ordered more yesterday.

At 10 PM (yes, 10 PM!) we got a call from his doctor's partner, explaining that he had dangerously high levels of calcium which could cause cardiac arrhythmia and along with parathyroid hormone levels, he urged us to go immediately to the ER and be admitted.

You know it's serious when a doctor calls you at home.

At 10 PM. DH tried to argue for waiting until the morning.

Uh, HELLO! No way!

They ran more blood tests and confirmed the high calcium, did an EKG and had him hooked up to a heart monitor. They also found evidence of kidney failure. We don't know where this comes from as he has had no symptoms of that. They did say he was dehydrated and hooked him up to an IV.

I left him at 3 AM on his way for a CT scan of the kidney and I will be talking to his PCP this morning.

Please keep him in your prayers. I'm not sure what today will bring - as far as his hospital stay, test results, and how I'll be functioning on 3 hours of sleep. Maybe pray for both of us. At least we know it's not prostate cancer or a kidney blockage or an ulcer.

He just called - he finally got to his room at 5 AM, he's now catheterized (mucho fun for a guy) and may have to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days.

Number One Son is 13 and a half. After calling a friend, we left him at home "in charge", while I took DH to the ER. Thank God I didn't have to call in a neighbor or rouse both kids out of bed to come with us. It's kind of nice when the rugrats are old enough for some responsibility.

I'm a little tired. And more than a little worried.

It was amusing to bitch a little when it was just a dramatic man-cold. Not so much when it involves a trip to the hospital.

I'm really not a Scrooge

...there's no "Bah, Humbug!" in me.

But there are days weeks when I think December (and Christmas) would be lovely if we skipped the Christmas cards, parties and gifts.

Really. Just give me the carols and the food.

Don't get me wrong.

I LOVE giving gifts. And picking them out. And making gifts (spiced pecans, chocolate dipped pretzel sticks, peppermint white chocolate bark, handpainted swirled glass ornaments, etc.) I love to say "thank you" to those who have made my life easier, taken care of my kids, hosted lovely get-togethers, done jobs that I can't or don't want to have to do....

I love Advent and the new church year.

I love the anticipation of Christmas, the traditions and rituals (okay, maybe not *All of them, but some of them), the celebration of the birth of Christ, the magic of Christmas with young children, the reunion of family and friends.... you get the picture.

But I do NOT like the pressure to find the perfect gift, the pressure to buy gifts and send cards out of obligation. (I am much happier spying the PERFECT gift at some other time of the year and surprising the recipient for no reason.)

The crowds, the traffic, the parking.

The dilemma of shopping for gifts for nephews or nieces that are almost grown and are so far away that I'm not up on their interests, needs and likes.

The mailing of gifts to far-off friends and family.

The difference in expectations and traditions between your birth family and your family-by-marriage.

I do not like trying to think of something personal to write on 100 Christmas cards (and what's the point of just sending a colorful piece of paper with your name on it), or addressing, signing, licking and stamping them.

I do not like worrying about who I might have missed. And surely offended.

The bills, I should mention the bills. Actually it's not the bills - they're payable. It's the budgeting. No, that's not hard. It's trying to figure out x number of dollars to spend on 18-26 people. And then realizing you forgot the teachers and bus drivers or something like that. I never know all the rules about holiday gifting and tipping.

You know... who's an owner, who relies on tips, who can't accept tips, who's a professional and would be offended....


:::sigh::: I know, I'm just a whiner today.

So, I wonder sometimes...

Do you ever wonder how random people find you on Twitter?

And why they follow you?

What makes them unfollow you, just as randomly.

Why your teen at home is SO not the teen at school. I think it's a multiple personality disorder, personally.
Although, to be fair, I suffer from the same thing, I'm sure.

Why some people think it's okay to watch endless hours of tv (or sports), but they think the internet is just a useless waste of time.

Why the people you most want to see never go to your college (or highschool) reunions.

Do people really care if you send them a Christmas card? Especially one that doesn't even have a note. (Don't get me started)

What if I just skipped the Christmas cards altogether?

Cyber Christmas cards - yes or no?

Why doctor's don't let you email them with teeny little question? It would be much more expedient than a gazillion phone tag installments with the nurses and office staff.

Why the *idea if something is often better than the actual something.

How I became a grown-up with out feeling grown up? Almost like I'm an impostor.

Where time goes? I swear it does fly.

Really.

If you have answers to any of these, please tell me.

I swear I had a bunch more, but I forgot them.

Old people's confession time

Okay, so in recent medical news - this just in.

I don't have kidney stones.

I don't have a tumor. That's a relief.
So, I'm not going to become famous blogging about my cancer with a courageous, humorous spin on my life.

This blog will not be my legacy to my family (at last that pressure is off)

I have "mild degenerative changes" and some arthritis.

That, my friends, is the result of 4 weeks of a kidney infection, 2 weeks of antibiotics, several weeks of bitching and moaning, and a 3 hour wait in the radiology department the night before Thanksgiving (drinking several gallons of water, enduring multiple stabbings in an attempt to get a usable blood sample and an IV of a quart of contrast dye and another quart of saline solution).
(That is not my tush)

I'm getting old. Apparently, mild degenerative changes don't alarm my doctor. My body is just wearing out. Isn't there an extended warranty I can get?

Oh, and DH? The one who's been nauseous and gaggy and whining for 5 weeks? (well, the only one I have, to be honest). He finally went to the doctor today (after I threatened him). He has an ulcer. He's going for more tests this week, all sorts of GI stuff, but at least they ruled out other stuff like prostate cancer. He's old, too.

Oh, what an exciting life I lead.

Next up: AARP travel reviews, early bird dining deals and tips on the best senior pharmacies.

Stay tuned!

Java-lujah

This is just too funny. Okay, maybe it's only funny if you're involved in church or in outreach at church. But *I thought it was funny. And a little sad, too.

Okay. It's more than a little sad. Especially if you're involved in outreach or greeting visitors at your church.


In other news,

Carrie has posted pics of the Traveling Blog Blox! Yay! It'll be off to Karen soon. Despite my fumblings and Tiffany's snags, it really will get to everyone!

I know I'm a little late, but did anyone see last week's Top Chef? The one where they catered a Thanksgiving dinner for the Foo Fighters? It was filmed in Rochester, NY! Yup, woohoo!

Now, I know it was shown as a Thanksgiving show, but I checked the Foo Fighters tour schedule - they were here in July, people. Besides the obvious taping schedule and tour schedule stuff, the big clue? They were cooking outside! In shirtsleeves.
Come on, this is Upstate NY.
In November.
No one would believe that.

Month

Avg. High

Avg. Low

Mean

Avg. Precip

Record High

Record Low

Nov

47°F

33°F

40°F

2.84 in.

81°F (1950)

5°F (1971)

But it was Very Cool anyway.

Random Pics: Northampton, MA

I just liked this window.
This sign is at the entrance of the parking garage! Northampton is one of my favorite little towns to wander around.

Main Street
These penguins were marching up the stairs at Faces. DD almost knocked them over like dominos!
Random things in the store.
Total BITCH bubble bath
Lookin' Good for Jesus Bubble Bath. I bought some of the Lookin Good for Jesus Sparkle Cream for the pastor I work for. :-)
I NEED this bag.
Heaven. We went in for fudge. walnut penuchi and chocolate peanut butter.
Damn. I rotated these photos in IPhoto and they didn't stay rotated!
Thorne's Market. A wonderfully eclectic collection of shops.
Thorne's
We had great soup and sandwiches here. Mine was a curried pumpkin.

Friday already?

Okay, so here are a few Friday Rants and Raves:

Rants:

• children bickering in car
• 5 hour car rides
• husband in bad mood during all 5 hours of car ride
• headaches
• CT scans
• feeling like you have to pee REALLY BADLY and being told to hold your breath FOREVER during said CT scan
• nurses who can't find a vein when they set up your IV
• labs who "hemolize" your blood while doing the lab work, necessitating another blood draw and another 45 minute wait
• tire centers who have 5 days before your appointment, but on the day of, "can't find the tires in the store" and have to reschedule for the next day. The day before Thanksgiving. The day of your CT scan.
• children bickering in hotel room instead of doing homework.
  

Raves:

• Tire guys who take your tongue-in-cheek comment about how the waiting room would be better if they served wine and had wireless internet access seriously and present you with a bottle of wine when you go back for your appointment. :-)
• a NICE bottle of chardonnay. Really. How coool is that?
  
• headphones in the car when no one can agree on the music
• nice radiology nurses
• Black Friday deals available on Wednesday
  
• Guesstures. A pee-in-your-pants funny game when played with relatives of every generation after eating waaay too much turkey. And a little scotch. Just a little, I swear.
• SIL did a boob flash for one of her words. Not caught on film.
• MIL acted out stripper for her word. Caught on film.
• I did "The Worm" on the floor. They got the word. No photographic evidence, thankyouverymuch
• Brined turkey.
  
• Post turkey naps. Someone drooled. It wasn't me. It was DD, snuggled in my arms on the couch. Someone snored. Could have been DH or FIL. Definitely not me.
• Dessert buffets.
• Glenlivet scotch (so not me, but sooo good)
  
• Staying in a hotel room instead of on a relative's pull out sofa
• Hotels that offer free breakfast
• Hotels that have wireless internet.
• Blog Give Aways!

So, I followed a blog link from Thystle's blog and found Sheree, on "Opinions of a Broad". She's seriously witty, beautifully real and honest, and she's a cool potter. She had a post about her "Swearware", some wise-ass pottery that would be like what I imagine Thystle drinking her coffee out of, and mentioned a 50% (yes 50% discount!) and said something like she'll give away a mug for free if a reader can convince her. So I rambled on and on and I won! Well, actually, I was the only one who asked, but waay cool! Lorrie and Thystle my dry spell is OVER!

I should have known, that both Thystle and Lorrie would be followers of her blog. I can see a kindred spirit amongst these women. While I am not a potter (well, my family members have a few clunky pieces I made for them when I was in my artsy phase, but that didn't last), and am certainly not as witty or as "spot-on" in my snarky life observations and not as eloquent as I write my daily ramblings and frustrations, I still think those three would be a blast to have a drink with. Okay, more than one. Maybe too much. But it would be worth it. Can't you imagine a Thelma and Louise type adventure?

Other random news from the week:

• I made the Eggnog cheesecake squares for Turkey Day and they were a big hit!
• I watched the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion - what a train wreck! and the new Real Housewives of Orange County - delightful back-to-back reality trash tv.
• I bought a turtleneck from Lane Bryant with a 15.00 coupon and found out that it was buy one get one free (not the lame buy one, get one half off which is a cheap ploy just to get you to spend more money) So, instead of a 49.00 t-neck for $34, I got TWO t-necks for $24 something. (Yeah, I don't get that math either, it's like there's an extra discount in there somewhere, but I'm not complaining)
• I used another $20 coupon in Coldwater Creek and got another t-neck for only $9.50 - yeah, I'm all about the sales and the turtlenecks.
• I bought a Nikon Coolpix camera. I love that it's smaller than my phone. Not the Ashton Kutcher cool one (that was $400!), but a cool plum colored one that was on sale for $129. Yay!
  
• I forget the rest - that's what I get for not updating since Monday.

Enjoy Black Friday shopping! Enjoy the leftovers! Enjoy the weekend!
Thank you Sheree!

Twilight Zone

Okay, so a quick tour of my blog feeds this weekend shows that either you or your friends are ALL blogging or tweeting about the Twilight Zone.

Seriously, if there were a way to do a trending report (hello? Google Analytics? Somebody?) Anyway, I'm sure somebody has done it, but I'm sure that it would show that Twilight got the most hits or keywords or whatever this weekend.

As someone who has not read the books or seen the movie, I'm feeling slightly out of touch.

A little like I've missed the boat, or like I'm June Cleaver and I don't understand those Beatles.

Am I the only one?

I read a lot of James Patterson, Jen Lancaster, Anita Shreve, Elizabeth Berg, Jodi Picoult, Dean Koontz, "Oprah" type books.....

Anybody have a recommendation? Think I might like it? I never warmed up to the Harry Potter books, although I liked the movies and am a voracious reader.

You know you've got a problem when...

Your 10 year old is sitting at the kitchen table doing homework and belting out a song.

Not just any song. A Mamma Mia song.

An Abba song.




....."Gimme gimme gimme a MAN after midnight...... Won't somebody help me chase the shadows awaaaaay?"


....."Is there a man out therrrrrrrre?........"


Damn Abba.

Top of her lungs, too.

I got nuthin'

Well, nothing much.

Darling Daughter finally caught the bug today. And instead of her usual bounce-back self, continued to puke from 6:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

She was supposed to go to a Sweet and Sassy party at 11:30 this morning. :-(

At 10:45, she announced, through Darling Husband, that she "felt better" and could she go to the party?

Um, no.

Talk to me mothers.... I wasn't being overprotective, right? You wouldn't let your kid go to a party after a morning of puking, right?

I mean, I didn't want to punish her, but my thinking was my name would be MUD (sorry Lorrie) if she went to the party and either
A) puked again
or
B) other kids started puking on Sunday. Or Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

*We'd be blamed.

DH couldn't understand this.(!) I'm usually pretty lax, but this seemed to me to be a common courtesy.

I mean, if she had puked once, and felt immediately better, I *might've acquiesced. But not when it was repetitive.

And at around 1 PM she had a 100.4 temp.

She finally had a bit of tomato soup at 7 PM, but pretty much nothing else but water and a little juice. all. day.

So, I spent the day exploring the dusty boxes underneath my bed. Ack! I keep a lot of crap. Mostly there were boxes of photos ( I haven't done a scrap book or photo album since 2003) :-( . Anyway, I culled through a lot of tacky sweaters, ratty tees and semi-organized the photo boxes.

I made a GREAT dinner - chicken breasts with a creamy, lemony sauce and angel hair pasta. As I was browning the chicken, DH and Number One Son informed me they were on their way out to the movies. (James Bond)

Hello!? When I asked you what time the movie was, you never mentioned that you weren't staying for dinner!

So, I told DH he could have it tomorrow night and I will be taking Darling Daughter to the movies when she feels better.

Anyway, with a generous glass of chardonnay, that chicken was AMAZING. :-)

I also promised DD that I would take her to Sweet and Sassy for a raincheck hair cut and spa day. I went there to drop off the gift and take some photos of what she missed. What a cute concept! Check it out: Sweet and Sassy.

Hope you enjopyed your day.

More random shots from the week

Can you see the huge snow flakes?
No more driveway basketball for a while.

Last night, we went to the YMCA's victory celebration for a successful end to their fundraising campaign. (Can you say 1.3 million dollars? Woot! It all goes to families and kids who can't afford to go to camp or childcare or other Y programs)

I have to say, I'm pretty very proud of him. He's worked really hard with great volunteers and a great staff to make this a very successful YMCA. He's a great motivator and always makes these events exciting and rewarding for those who have worked so hard to make it successful.

It's always pretty crazy with spoofs and skits. You never know what you'll find.

That is my husband dressed up as Gene Simmons. Two years ago, he dressed up as a Spice Girl. Yes, really. I suppose this is an improvement.
Yes, that's a glittery turkey. Playing the sax. No, it's not my husband.
This is my distinguished husband again. He's "Sir Raise-a-Lot", a take-off on Sir Mix-a-Lot. I think he looks a little "Jerry Garcia-ish", with the salt and pepper beard. What do you think?

Yes, he was wearing obnoxious faux bling, a bathrobe in public, and can you see them?

Crocs.

Gold crocs.

In size 14.

:::sigh::: I did say, "for better or worse".