Hey!

It's not GONE, it'll be back in September, but just a different form and style.

You can read about it here: http://www.fborfw.com/news/

Yay! :-)

For Better or For Worse

Oh, noooooo.

Today was the end of Lynne Johnston's comic strip, For Better or Worse. :-(

I have followed that story for the longest time and have alternately laughed out loud and stiffled a sniffle.

:::sigh::: The end of an era.

My husband has always called me a nitpicker.

But this time it's true.

I just spent an entire afternoon picking nits out of my daughter's hair.

Ewwwwww.

Hey, what was I going to do anyway? Our boat was out of the water, our bags were packed, and the laundry was done. Okay, not folded, but at least done.

You see, last weekend in the Adirondacks, DD told me her head itched.

Well, didn't all of our heads itch? And our ankles, and elbows, and toes. After all, we spent a fair amount of time outdoors and around the campfire. My head itched too, out of sympathy.

Well, after being home for a few days, I was a little suspicious, but a head check showed nothing,

I checked again today after more complaints and frantic scratching. Yup, I saw evidence of that which must not be named. But you know what I mean. It's fairly common in day cares, summer camps, schools - anywhere where kids congregate and do such unsanitary things as share combs, clothes, snuggles and hugs. DH and Number One Son seem to have been spared. I didn't see anything on myself, but I didn't trust any inspector other than myself and since she slept in MY bed, I treated to be on the safe side.

Oh, boy. This was noon. Good thing DH called and said the boat was still out of the water - because this was not something I could leave until later. We immediately stripped the beds, sanitized all combs and brushes and drove directly to the nearest pharmacy.

I did a lot of online reading too - did you know that that which must not be named cannot live without a host body for more than 48 hours?

Heh, we'll be out of our house for 72 hours this long weekend. And, they cannot be transmitted to pets. Whew. Thank goodness for small favors.

Now of course, since DD was away for so long, and we missed her so much and she's still a cute little cuddle big (heh, this brings new meaning to the phrase doesn't it?) she spent a lot of time snuggling in our bed and even sleeping there a night or two. I was suddenly feeling very itchy - was it real or imagined? Doesn't mater, I treated anyway. Solidarity, sister!

A further inspection while on our boat and underway, revealed that the stubborn little nits were still clinging without any sign of loosening up. So, I did a nice orangutan impression and picked nits all afternoon and followed up with another gel-comb through treatment. Please cross you fingers that I was able to get those muthers out of her fine hair.

So come'on, fess up. Who's gone through this before? It's more annoying than anything - due to all the washing and bagging and isolating.

Having been a camp director and day care director, I know this isn't supposed to mean shame has fallen upon our house (but I know old perceptions die hard and most of us aren't too keen on announcing this infestation) Would it help to know that it has nothing to do with cleanliness? Really. Look it up.

Random stuff

Okay, I just checked out Pioneer Woman's blog.. She had an adorable pic of her new calf and asked for ideas for his name. She had 1708 comments.

Yes, you read that right.

1708.

Oh. My.

How the heck do you READ all those comments?

I'm happy of I get 2. Yup, 2.

I'm leaping off my couch and woohooing if I get 6, but that's rare. Which isn't a totally bad thing as all that woohooing poses a risk of upsetting my wine. And I wouldn't want to break my totally cool wine glass from Lorrie. :-) (I'd link it, but I couldn't find a pic on the web site)

Whoa. I need to rearrange my priorities. Maybe I'll find more excitement in Sodus this weekend. Something more to woohoo about. Then again, maybe I'll find more to blog about. ;-)

Number One Son is bringing a friend along. Should be fun.

Gotta go and pack.

Cross your fingers that the boat actually goes back in the water on schedule. If it doesn't, I may have to find some Xanax for DH.

3:30 PM Update: Boat still not in water. 900 pieces need to be put together. :-X We're hoping for 5:00 PM. Maybe I should open the wine early?

The Money Pit

"A boat is a hole in the water that you pour money into." Very true.

In fact, truer words were never written.

No, really. I'm serious.

Our boat is out of the water. It has a leak. Despondent DH is sitting on the bridge anyway. And it's raining.

That would be the bridge of the boat, not a bridge over troubled waters.

We were supposed to leave for Canada this morning. afternoon. tomorrow 6:00 AM. tomorrow afternoon .

Now it looks like they'll put the boat back in the water tomorrow afternoon and we'll leave around 2 PM.

Cross your fingers. And we won't be going to Canada. We'll go to Sodus Bay instead. It's closer.

Sigh, I'm just trying to go with the flow.

Did I mention that it's raining?

Too long for a Twitter

Such a difference between 2 kids - 1 dragged me to purchase school supplies earlier this week (see Twitter about $153 - ack!), has packed and repacked her school supplies 10 times or more and bugged me to visit her teacher.

She came with me to work 2 days in a row just so she could use my label maker and label everything.

Everything.

Including the ziplock bags, the tissue box, the ruler, protractor (which she calls a prototractor), the binders, notebooks, folders, etc.

I should have taken a pic when she had the contents of her new (polka-dotted) back pack strewn all over the floor of my office, completely blocking any access to the copier, fax, and paper supplies.

The other - doesn't even want to go check out his locker. Or look at his class schedule.

OMG, Where to begin?

The problem with taking a few days off, is that it's hard to know what to include, or even to remember it all.

There were many moments over the weekend, where I thought, "Heh, I'll blog about that". Well, too late, but I'll try to recap everything while not sending you off to sleep.

Friday:
So, on Friday, we packed the car and headed for the Adirondacks to the "family cabin" and to reunite with our two kids (who seem to be more adorable after being away from us for 2 weeks) and catch up with my brother and sis-in-law, and my cousins and their families, and my aunt and uncle. (My mom got everyone started on gathering for a family reunion up there in 2001 and everyone's come together every summer since. Thanks, Mom - but that's a whole 'nother story.)

Anyway, DH thought it would be a last hurrah to bring the dog. Now, this is the same dog who poops in the car on the 3 mile trip to the vet, and hyperventilates in the car and who can barely walk, but, whatever. I gave him a doggie chill pill and actually, he did very well. (Okay, DH was r-r-r-ight).
But anyway. We met my brother in Old Forge, had ice cream, exchanged the kids, they went out for an anniversary dinner and we headed off to camp.

Now, this was the last night of a two week camp session - my kids were there for week one - so this was great that they got to join their friends for closing campfire and say good-bye and DH could tour the camp and talk with the counselors and director, etc.
Anyway, the deer up there are abundant and I got some photos of them approaching me as I maneuvered closer for a snapshot. They were definitely not intimidated at all.
After a forgettable dinner, I took a quick peek at email and blogs (yay for wireless internet access!), and then we donned bug spray and hoofed it over to the closing campfire.

The camp director warned us that it could be long.

She even joked that we might want to sneak out early.

She wasn't kidding.

As we silently approached the campfire, we were given a wooden chip to throw in the fire. Then we walked the gauntlet and shook hands with all the young CITs and LITs (counselors and leaders in training). The handshakes were a bit awkward as we fumbled for a grip. It wasn't until the 6th shake that I noticed DH's grip.

Oh, great, there's a secret traditional camp handshake that NO ONE told me about. Didn't I look like an idiot when everyone else split their fingers in a Vulcan-like manner and threaded fingers as they shook?!

Anyway, I got over that and we sat on very nice wooden benches overlooking the lake. The stars were out in full force, the air was clear and cool and the bats were diving overhead. But nevermind, the setting was touching as you could hear the sounds of animals skittering in the woods and the sniffles of hormonal teenagers coming to grips with the fact that they were leaving paradise, their bestest friends EVAH, hot breakfasts everyday, fresh air and sunshine and bunkbeds - all within the next 14 hours.

The tears were building, along with the numbness spreading over my left butt cheek and heading towards my toes. Now, most campfires are known for a sprinkling of camp songs (Kum-By-Yah, anyone?), skits, sharing of memories and some sort of good-bye ritual. And lots of teenage angst and drama as the (mostly the girls) campers are overcome with emotion of how meaningful camp is.

This campfire lacked the 1. skits 2. rousing, spirited camp songs 3. Kum-By-Yah and 4. Direction.

What it has a LOT of? The good-bye ritual.

265 campers and staff gathered by cabin around the campfire and each shared something they were thankful for at camp before they tossed in their wood chip. Touching, right? Well, some kids were VERY thankful and even had a list. Very touching to hear that they were thankful their parents sent them to camp, thankful for friends, thankful for new experiences, thankful for Mike D - thebestcounselorevah! and for JohnMurphy Who Rocks! You get the idea.

By the 47th time I heard the name John Murphy, I was thinking I found a new drinking game!
If I had played, I would have had to have been carried out of the woods in a most undignified manner. Uh huh. Kum-By-Yah my ass.

The campfire lasted 2 and a half hours and then we had to drive another hour back to the Family Cabin.

Saturday:
Saturday was nice, we did a little traditional souvenir shopping in town, and got ready for the GatheringO'TheCousins later on that night. I'll shorten this a wee bit by summing it up like this:
cousins
(Note to self: Remember NOT to leave camera unattended around 10 year old daughter.) Update: Number One Son came clean. *He took the offending photo. And another one of my shoulder blade and backfat. Ugh.

water
canoes and rafts
dogs
beers
fireworks
glow sticks galore
cousins
fireworks
food
campfire
beer
(Yeah, we've got kind of a tie-dye thing going on. It's a family tradition now for Everyone to wear their tie-dye on our last night together. @@)

food
fire
beer
fireworks
sort of over at midnight

Got it? Thought so.

One more bit about Saturday night: sleeping arrangements at this rustic cabin are in a semi-private, loft-like area with bro and sis-in-law, my kids, 2 dogs and me and DH in a double bed. (No, we weren't ALL in the same bed - bro and sis-in-law and Number One Son had their own beds)
He snores.
He's used to a KING size bed. He's not really a small man.
He invited DD to join us in bed to snuggle.
Bed was hard, he was uncomfortable.

Therefore, we were all miserable.

PS - *I really like that bed.

Sunday:
Pack up two weeks of dirty laundry and belongings of kids.
Worshipped at log-cabin church overlooking the lake - God's most beautiful place on earth, I think.
Boys went golfing.
Girls went exploring.

DD and I went swimming in the world's clearest lake.
Picnic lunch.
Visit to cemetery where my parents are - maybe another post, another time
More swimming in world's best lake.
Another souvenir stop, this time in Inlet.
Dog pooped in car. This'll be fun. It's 3 and a half more hours in the car to get home.
Threw DS's dirty, ratty sneakers over the telephone line on Big Moose Rd.
Had a moment of silence.
Back to camp as visiting dignitary to greet family campers at check-in. Another unforgettable dinner. No campfire this time.
Drive back home. Laundry.

Still too long an update, but I'm back and disappointed that all the witty stuff that I was going to write about has slipped away and is gone forever.

Random photo along Rt. 30.

Yes. He does.

In the meantime...

I will be back soon, but in the mean time, Tori from Baby Bloomr is the one that can write for me today. Here's the link to today's post: Being a Christian means ALWAYS having to say you're sorry.

Damn, she's good. :-)

Thank you, Tori.

I am increasingly thankful for those writers that are eloquent, succinct and beautiful in how they express they're thoughts. Oh, yeah, and the funny ones, too.

But today, Tori sums up Christianity and spirituality in a way that I totally agree with. I'm not Southern, I'm not evangelical, but yes, I'm a Christian. And liberal. And yes, I can be both. And a PK, too.

Comment and ask me if you don't know what a PK is.

I'll be back soon...

....hopefully.

At this rate, between work projects and dirty laundry from the trip, I may never blog again.


Well, at least in August. :-(

Spam, spam, spam, spam

Spam. I get a lot of it.

But sometimes it's really funny.

For instance, today's spam included a handy offer for cheap breast augmentation.

As if I'd entrust the medical care of my body (the temple) to someone CHEAP.

AND who trolls for patients on the internet.

Particularly funny since I had a REDUCTION earlier this year. Har, har.

Oh, and the usual Viagra, generous Nigerian solicitors offering me their kingdom for a pittance, along with their cohorts - Nigerian widows who are looking to donate their millions to a worthy like-minded Christian organization or person, and online degrees, internet dating, and friendly lasses who invite me to come chat. hah!

Somehow I missed out on the latest Brittany one that's been circulating.

Anyway, more later, but I really need to get out of here and I've procrastinated practically the whole day away.

There was something else (nonspam related) to share, but I've forgotten already. Must be my advanced age.

Coincidentally, when I spoke with Number One Son in the Adirondacks (in between mountain climbing expeditions), he informed me he had Spam yesterday.

Seperated Separated at birth?

:::muttering::: damn, I used to be *such a good speller.

Thanks to SoulMoxie for this idea. She has a contest on her blog about celebrity look-a-likes, spawned by Lorrie who said she looks like Drew Barrymore.

Go see for yourself.

Anywho, I googled "celebrity look-a-likes" and found this site. "Findmycelebritylookalike.com"

Look who they thought I looked like.

Are you kidding? I'm going with Diane Lane, but it's a stretch.

Maybe if you take off your glasses and squint.

Thanks.

You can pick yourself up off the floor and stop laughing.

::: stamping foot::: Right. Now.

I mean it.

Update - I'm moving this from the comments section:
Oh, great. I tried MyHeritage.com for comparison.

The first photo I used brought up Serena Williams, Sally Field, Shania Twain, Kim Catrall and some guy I can't identify - look:

wtf? Sorry, WTH?

Here's the second group:

Mandy Mooore? Ashton Kutcher? Brad Pitt? Mike Meyers? What's with all the dudes?

Ouch.

Oh, and I could only choose 8 out of 10 images for my comparison.

Guess who was on BOTH lists?

Yup, Serena Williams.

My faith in computer technology just took a dive.

Go on, give it a try. Who's your look-a-like?
Go on.... put it on your blog. I dare ya!

Bears, Bats and Bugs - YIKES!!!

So, my kids are up in the Adirondacks doing all sorts of Adirondack-y things with my BrotherTheirUncle and Aunt Sue and all my cousins and their families.

So, every time I've called them, they've been down by the river, or hiking or swimming with cousins;

...and while I'm enjoying my current responsibility-free hiatus from parenthood, I was missing them feeling guilty at pawning them off on my bro and cousins.

They finally called this morning as I was getting ready for work. (Yes, I was late, but it was worth it)

In the past two days, they saw a bear - less than 200 yards away (Holy WinnieThePooh - isn't that like only about ONE BLOCK!?) while playing at the Beckery House (cool rented house on a hill above the river - very isolated),


had a bat flying around the kitchen of the cabin while they were trying to make pancakes,
(I hear much shrieking and screeching ensued - bro and Number One Son were out on an early morning hike)

and my daughter got a leech on her foot.
She says it bled for an hour and 45 minutes.

They report that they're having a blast.

Of *course they are. :-X

*that is not the actual black bear or cabin kitchen and that is not my daughter's flesh being eaten by the yucky leech.

We go pick them up on Friday and will spend a raucous weekend doing Adirondack-y things with my cousins. :-)

Happy Meals & Happy Hour: The BuyCrap Party

A couple of weeks ago, Lorrie, of Our Name Is Mud fame said everything I wanted to, better than I ever could.

Today, it's the very funny Sue (Hey, Sista!) from Happy Meals and Happy Hour.

It's one of the new blogs I've discovered when I should be weeding/foldinglaundry/payingattentiontomyhusband/
meditating/promotingworldpeace, etc.

You can thank me later.

She's said it perfectly. I bow down to her. She can post for me today.

Thank you, Sue. I'm tired anyway.

Damn Olympics.
And the geriatric dog that thinks it's perfectly normal to wake me up to pee at 3 AM.

Hey Desmond! That sh&* was okay 10 years ago - when I was already awake to tend the needs of a newborn. You don't qualify. Go back to sleep!

Anyway. Read it and remember it if you ever get the urge.

You're welcome.

Enjoy the day.

Nothing much

I'm still laying low, but I'm spending a LOT of time reading and discovering new blogs.

There are a *lot of funny writers out there, mostly moms.

Great. I'll never be bored, but I'm also never going to catch up on my laundry folding or my TBR pile.

Here are some of the books I'm looking forward to reading:
Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster
Range of Motion by Elizabeth Berg
Summer People by Brian Groh
Are you there Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
Sail by James Patterson

What I'm reading now:
Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg
The Summer We Got Saved by Pat Cunningham
The Book of Hard Things by Sue Halpern

I'm really only actively reading the first two, the others have sort of stagnated

What's on your list?

A great word!

acnestis
noun (acnest, es)

• (rfv-inflection, acnestes)

1. The part of an animal's skin that it cannot reach to scratch itself - usually the space between the shoulder blades.

Etymology: From Greek "a-" (negative prefix) + "kne^stos" = "scratched", a form of "kna^o" = "scratch". This same etymology of the Greek "aknestis" is uncertain.

************************
And Ping Pong? Is an Olympic sport? I get that it's competitive, and the players are agile, but an OLYMPIC sport?

Like on par with a triathalon or the 800 IM relay in swimming or gymnastics vaulting or sprinting?

Come on, isn't it a recreational diversion for teens in their family rec rooms?

Would someone please scratch my acnestis? Maybe I can use a ping pong paddle.

Monday

I'm just not getting out of bed.


And, randomly unrelated, but...SIX posts since Friday? What was I thinking?!


You know what sucks?
Emailing your boss at 5:30 AM to tell him you're sick and then having him call at 11 AM because he didn't get your email. :-(

Disappointment, wth?

You know when you're really looking forward to something and it just doesn't measure up?

Well, DH and I went out for breakfast this morning to our favorite unpretentious Greek (is there any other kind worth going to?) diner, and it just wasn't good.
Maybe I had too much coffee before we left. Maybe I was too hungry. We went about 10 AM. But on the short ride over I felt light-headed and queasy, so I wasn't in the best frame of mind when we went in.
But the funk! Was gross. Now, to be fair, DH didn't smell it, but I swear it smelled like a nursing home or old person's living room. WTH? That's not what a diner is supposed to smell like.

The eggs(over-medium) were too runny, the homefries (usually what I look forward to the MOST) tasted uncooked and without any discernible flavor, the whole wheat toast was burnt, and DH asked for cinnamon to put on his french toast and the smell was overwhelming. Damn, I sound bitchy, huh? Sorry about that.

But really, cinnamon mixed with stale old-people smell is not a good combination. And I still had the sweats. Now I have vurps. You know what they are, right? Sorry, TMI.

It can't be morning sickness and I swear I'm too young for hot flashes, and I double-pinky swear that I only had one glass of Pinot Grigio last night. Really.

Here's hoping this beautiful, sunny, responsibility-free, childless day gets better.

Enjoy yours.

Update:
Unfortunately it only got worse. I have some sort of stomach bug. Yuck.

PS: Just what *is the proper etiquette when you just KNOW you're about to puke and you're in a public place? Tell me what I should have done, and I'll tell you what I did.

And no, I'm not talking about drunken puking. I remember dimly what that etiquette is (hah! Drunken Puke Etiquette - that's an oxymoron). I'm talking OhShitI'mReallySickHere etiquette.

Where is everybody?

Oh, yeah, it's Saturday.

You all have a life.

I do too, sort of.

But the good thing is...

Wireless Internet access. Yup.

I'm sitting on my boat, in the sun, with a glass of Pinot Grigio.

My husband and nephews are watching the THIRTEENTH inning of the Yankees and Kansas City Royals, and my SIL and BIL are taking a nap after their exhausting 7 hour drive from CT. After the Yankees win or lose, and they wake up, we're taking a sunset cruise and then dinner at a dockside restaurant.

Life is good.

Or as we say in church sometimes:

God is good.

All the time.

Yankees won, later y'all.

Olympic Uniforms, part deux and customer service

NO, they're not related.

But I saw the men's beach volleyball uniforms last night and they included rather normal-looking sleeveless shirts and long (LONG) shorts. No skimpy muscle tanks for them, no sir. And no glint of thigh, either. What's up with that?

And if you ask me, those new swim unitards seem like a throw-back to Puritan days. Yes, I know they're more aerodynamic (or is that aquadynamic?), but competitive swimming was the one place that Speedos looked good.

And now they've gone and sold the excess stock to paunchy, middle-aged European men who wear them on the beaches of South Florida with no thought of their effect on unsuspecting vacationing families. :::shiver:::

As for customer service, I was back at the nail salon yesterday (so not like me, but I cleaned house yesterday and didn't wear gloves - the horror! So, I chipped the nice manicure that I got on Monday. So I went in for a "polish change" - a frivolous indulgence that I'd never considered before. But, I digress)

Anyway, the propietors and staff are Vietnamese and very friendly. They always greet people coming in the door with an enthusiastic "Hello there! How are you!?" (insert accented singsong here). "Do you want a water? Soda? You sure? It's no problem."

The woman who helped me yesterday was Lee (I'm not sure if it's really Lee or if she figured I couldn't remember or pronounce her real name - but everyone there is Kim or Lee) and she was sooo complimentary.

"You look very pretty" "Very pretty jacket" "Pretty lady and pretty jacket" and so on. "You are so lucky, going to dinner, you have a nice time" "Have a good weekend!"

I think it would be worth $7.00 to go there everyday and have them stroke my ego. Do you think they'd open up at 8 AM so I can go in before work? It's hard not to be in a good mood after that. It's infectious.

Contrast that to the hair salon I go to. I love Tom, I've been seeing him for like, 14 years. He always tells me I'm beautiful, too, but he also busts my chops in a good-natured way if I can't decide which direction to go with my hair.

He's fine, but his receptionist staff could learn a thing or two from the nail salon across the courtyard. I never know their names because there's a different flat-ironed blonde at the desk each month. They barely glance up from the computer monitor (are they on match.com or Facebook?) or fashion magazine to say hello.

Anyway, enjoy the day.

Need a babysitter?

Okay, a friend posted this on Facebook and I had to steal it.

To give credit where credit is due, it's from www.ductbills.com

How cute is that baby? I say Very.