I saw the cardinals again today. :-)

And they're singing up a storm in the forsythia bushes next to the back deck. Calling to each other and flitting from branch to branch. I know they're there, but they're just out of sight. I find them comforting anyway.

For those of you who don't know, the cardinals remind me of my parents. My Mom died in February of 2005 and then last year, my Dad died in March. Both were unexpected.

This is what I wrote about cardinals back in February when I had a blog on MySpace (gag. It just wasn't "me" over there)

Ground Hog Day is tomorrow. Right now there's the pitter-patter of sleet and freezing rain outside my (dark) window. Is Spring really not so far off? It's hard to believe sometimes.

I saw a cardinal the other day. Unremarkable, I know. But there's a story. I'm much more aware of cardinals these days.

After my mother died, I started seeing a cardinal in my backyard. While that might not seem unusual, I've been feeding the backyard birds here for 14 years and the cardinals did not come to my yard. My neighbor's yards, yes, just not mine.

Anyway, I took comfort in the sight of those cardinals and thought often of how my mother was with me in spirit, although I missed her physical presence. Why a cardinal? Well, my mother loved cardinals and I just associated this cardinal with her. Hey, it's not something I need to analyze deeply, I'll take comfort wherever I can get it.

When my father died last year and I started being visited by a pair of cardinals - a male and female and they often perched in a backyard tree and sang to me while I was on the deck and I was at peace. Suddenly, I saw cardinals in places I never did. Cardinals showed up in the brush by the parking lot when I got to work, they flitted past me when I went for a hike. I found a cardinal garden flag among the supplies in my Dad's garage. I took it. It hangs by my front door. My mother-in-law gave me a cardinal Christmas ornament.

Cardinals were everywhere, and usually turn up on just those days that I'm feeling sorry for myself. God is good! All the time!

Is it the spirit or presence of my parents? I don't now, but does it matter? They make me smile.

Time to wake the children.
*******************************************

Back to the present.

Tomorrow would have been my Dad's 77th birthday.

It's also my 15th wedding anniversary. And of course, the BIG ANNIVERSARY.

It's still another day on the calendar, ripe with it's own future, although we will never forget the past.

I saw the cardinals again today.

Peace.

And more old stuff - the beginning

Saturday, February 02, 2008 another Saturday morning Current mood: cold DH is still out of town, so I had to step up to be the early chauffeur to take number one son to his early morning hockey game. Games start at 8 AM, and silly me, I figure if we got there 15 minutes ahead of time, we'd be good. Oh, no. Number one son informs me we have to leave at 7:15 AM. Oy, where's my coffee? That meant having to rouse Sleeping Beauty earlier than normal. There she was, burrowed under the covers, clothes scattered across her room, snoring away. The girl can snooze. No problems there. But she's not a quick riser. Oh, no, there's no rushing her. Anyway, I dragged my groggy self into action - it's tough when you stay up past your bedtime (normally around 9:30 at my geriatric age) and try to frantically restore the house to a presentable state. At midnight. Why the flurry? Well my father-in-law is joining us for the Holy Grail of all games, the Super Bowl. And he's coming tonight. At 7:00 PM. And DH just informed me that he changed his flights and is returning home at 11 PM, not tomorrow. Yikes, there went my cushion. And now I have to figure out a dinner plan. You see, when it's just me and the kids, I don't have a plan. It's glorious freedom to make an omelet. Or have cereal. Or make spaghetti for the zillionth time because they LIKE it. Or run out to grab a pizza. Now I have to have a plan. Something suitable for company and adults. Which means I actually have to make vegetables and other sides. Any help out there? About the house? It's still not presentable. And after hockey, we have to drive to the other side of the county to make number one son's wrestling match, which starts at 9. Hockey ends at 9. It takes about 30 minutes to cross the county. You do the math. I sure hope he's got a partner. Last week DH did the same cross county trek and he didn't even have a partner in his wrestling weight. And he's got some other wrestling school spirit thing where his team has to go and cheer on the varsity wrestlers. That's at one. So, he won't be around for the chores and manic cleaning. Sigh. And young daughter is a lost cause in cleaning her room. It's a classic case of 2 steps forward and one step back. Or maybe 3 steps back. In between more carrying around the cat nonsense and practicing her Hannah Montana dance moves in front of the hall mirror. It would be easier to rent a back hoe and clear out the room myself, but it's the *principle of the thing. She should be able to manage it. It's a constant source of friction as she's not moved to increase her speed with any subsequent loss of privilege. It's been weeks since she's had computer access, and no chance to watch her favorite shows. She is not to be rushed. Game over. Time to rock-n-roll. Off to Spencerport for the next round. 8:44 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Friday, February 01, 2008 random funniness Current mood: amused I know this made the email rounds, but it always cracks me up. "The Mom Song" "The Mom" song, sung to the William Tell Overture, by Anita Renfroe. What a mom says in 24 hours, condensed into 2 minutes and 55 seconds! Hilarious and talented! Lyrics for "The Mom Song" is given below. (Thank you BelleFlower15!) "The Mom Song" Get up now Get up now Get up out of bed Wash your face Brush your teeth Comb your sleepyhead Here's your clothes and your shoes Hear the words I said Get up now! Get up and make your bed Are you hot? Are you cold? Are you wearing that? Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at? Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat Don't forget! You gotta feed the cat Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it's the most important meal of all Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play Don't shovel Chew slowly But hurry The bus is here Be careful Come back here Did you wash behind your ears? Play outside, don't play rough, will you just play fair? Be polite, make a friend, don't forget to share Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare Get along! Don't make me come down there Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day? Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay? Can you even hear a word I say? Answer the phone! Get off the phone! Don't sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table No more computer time tonight! Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home? Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam You'll appreciate my wisdom someday when you're older and you're grown Can't wait till you have a couple little children of your own You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate Use your fork, do not burp or I'll set you straight Eat the food I put upon your plate Get an A, get the door, don't get smart with me Get a grip, get in here, I'll count to three Get a job, get a life, get a PHD Get a dose of, "I don't care who started it! You're grounded until you're 36" Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven's sake And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too? If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before That you're too old to act this way It must be your father's DNA Look at me when I am talking Stand up straighter when you walk A place for everything and everything must be in place Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about Oh! Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on Get in bed, get up here, say a prayer with mom Don't forget, I love you And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends You don't need the reason why Because, because, because, because I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so I'm the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!! Ta da!!! 4:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Winter to Spring Current mood: grateful Ground Hog Day is tomorrow. Right now there's the pitter-patter of sleet and freezing rain outside my (dark) window. Is Spring really not so far off? It's hard to believe sometimes. I saw a cardinal the other day. Unremarkable, I know. But there's a story. I'm much more aware of cardinals these days. After my mother died, I started seeing a cardinal in my backyard. While that might not seem unusual, I've been feeding the backyard birds here for 14 years and the cardinals did not come to my yard. My neighbor's yards, yes, just not mine. Anyway, I took comfort in the sight of those cardinals and thought often of how my mother was with me in spirit, although I missed her physical presence. Why a cardinal? Well, my mother loved cardinals and I just associated this cardinal with her. Hey, it's not something I need to analyze deeply, I'll take comfort wherever I can get it. When my father died last year and I started being visited by a pair of cardinals - a male and female and they often perched in a backyard tree and sang to me while I was on the deck and I was at peace. Suddenly, I saw cardinals in places I never did. Cardinals showed up in the brush by the parking lot when I got to work, they flitted past me when I went for a hike. I found a cardinal garden flag among the supplies in my Dad's garage. I took it. It hangs by my front door. My mother-in-law gave me a cardinal Christmas ornament. Cardinals were everywhere, and usually turn up on just those days that I'm feeling sorry for myself. God is good! All the time! Is it the spirit or presence of my parents? I don't now, but does it matter? They make me smile. Time to wake the children. Currently listening : December, Piano Solos: 20th Anniversary Edition By George Winston Release date: 16 October, 2001 6:40 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Thursday, January 31, 2008 Off to bed. Current mood: sleepy No, nothing exciting. DH is out of town and I've frittered away too much time on this internet. Oh, and watching Lost with number one son. I was interested in it, but it's been soo long since I'd thought about it, that I could easily have let the momentous ocassion of it's return fly right by me. But not number one son. He's been giving me updates for several weeks and eagerly awaiting this night. And I think it's sweet that he reaaalllllly wanted me to sit next to him under the blanket and watch. These moments won't last forever. So, I watched. And I enjoyed it and remembered enough to not feel completely "lost" myself -heh. And number one son dutifully and willingly filled me in. And then I snoozed at the critical last 5 minutes. Yes, I've done that before. In movie theaters. Thank goodness for the DVR. We rewound and watched again. All is well. My kitchen is still frightfully messy, but at least a load of dishes is underway and DH doesn't return until Sunday. :-) I have *lots of time to clean up. :-) Anyway, I'm typically the kind of gal who's snuggled in my jammies by 9 PM I don't know what's gotten into me lately. So, goodnight. Currently listening : Raising Sand By Robert Plant Release date: 23 October, 2007 11:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

distractable Current mood: distractable Yes, I'm at work. Yes, I'm playing a little hookey here since I'm writing this, but I'm waiting for a large copying job to finish so I'm taking a breather. Young daughter has been delivered to school, drycleaning has been dropped off and I have gas in my car - although it wasn't any warmer this morning, I had no choice. I am totally sucked into this. Check out the music link in this blog entry. Laurel Masse is an amazing vocalist. More later. Currently listening : Alone Together By Laurel Massé Release date: 05 April, 2005 9:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Ahhh Current mood: vexed Well, I was going to breathe a sigh of relief and settle in with a cup of coffee (french roast - the darker the better), but I have to make sure the younger has actually *caught the bus. You see, it's not uncommon for her to become wildly distracted in the midst of the most mundane tasks - carrying a perfectly healthy cat (with 4 legs intact) around like a quadriplegic when she should be brushing her teeth. Or practicing her Hannah Montana moves in front of the hall mirror. Or trying out a gazillion different outfits or hairstyles with only minutes until deadline. Oh, the fabulous life of a 9 year old. She often makes a mad dash for the corner and actually runs after the bus which is already at M's house. Or returns sheepishly to say she missed the bus. This. is. oneofthosemornings. She just returned. So much for my relaxing cuppa. Later. I've got to take a shower. PS. You know, I've never been one to write a journal or a diary. But I'm kind of digging this. I don't know if anyone reads this, and I'm not sure if I care or if it matters. But it's helping me. And I like it. It feels a bit more productive than idly surfing the web or posting on message boards (but I could be wrong). *Does anyone read this? I see the view count, but I'm not sure that it's not just reflecting *my visits to my own page. Hmmm. Have a nice day. I'm of to work after a detour at the local elementary school. Currently listening : Awake By Josh Groban Release date: 07 November, 2006 7:36 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 feeling better:-) Current mood: peaceful Yup, not grumpy anymore. The kids have both calmed down and the house is quiet. I treasure these moments when I can be quiet with my thoughts. Earlier, both of my darling children were bickering and in each other's space while doing homework. My 9 year old songbird was chirping away while listening to her MP3 player (How many 45 year olds know the soundtrack of High School Musical by heart?), which can be truly grating even though she has a beautiful voice and near perfect pitch. It's obviously not a maternal trait. While I try to discourage number one son from being obnoxious about quieting his sister, I have to admit that I chimed in and crabbed at her to be quiet. I appreciate music, but enough already. Anyway, (chill-aphobic, winter-hating, borderline whiny) darling husband has his annual professional networking conference with other YMCA CEOs in a warm climate this week. I think it's Phoenix this year, although in this age of cell phones and computer contact, I actually didn't pay much attention. It's not like the "old days" when he left a list of contact numbers, hotel information and flight numbers - most of that information is unnecessary when I can reach him with one phone number no matter where he is. Anyway, it's usually in Florida and in the midst of all the meetings, they somehow find the time to play golf. Lucky him. Personally, I appreciate this time of year, although my favorite season is definitely autumn. This weather makes me appreciate the warmth and promise of spring all the more. And I do get a kick out of shoveling snow. I actually like it. I could do without pumping gas in the bitter wind, though; and as a result I sincerely hope that I don't run out in the morning since I stubbornly avoided doing that task this evening. Cheers, snuggle up in a warm blanket, kick your feet up and think of all your blessings. That's what I'm doing right now. If winter comes, can spring be far behind? – Percy Bysshe Shelley God is good. All the time. 8:48 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Yes, I’m grumpy Current mood: cantankerous A preadolescent, belligerent, quarrelsome, defiant child will do that to you. I *know he needs patience and guidance to get him through this stage, but I swear I just want to scream at him and get away sometimes. They always challenge you just when you'd rather curl up on the couch with a good book and a glass of wine and *not be the parent. And he's defiant about the same crap over and over again. And I'm not a drill sergeant or anything; I'm generally pretty laid back, a little laissez-faire even. I encourage questioning and free expression of feelings, but I will not tolerate blatant disrepect and a cocky, know-it-all attitude. Am I wrong about that? That was rhetorical, but really, what's a parent to do? Oh, and just when I'm feeling really at wit's end, he'll do something like say, "Mom, will you come in and snuggle at bedtime? Please?" Yes, he's 12. And I love him no matter what. I think I'll go pour a glass of wine. 6:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

second try - in more ways than one Current mood: optimistic Category: Blogging Well, I tried to update again last night and the whole thing disappeared. I don't know if I muddled something technically, or if it was the fact that I was on my MacBook, which is finicky about which applications it gets along with - it doesn't always play nice. Anyway, I blathered on about having 4 friends (now it's 6!) and that it was really 3, because I don't think that Tom guy counts - he's *everybody's friend. I'm not good at recreating what I've already written, so I'll just have to sigh and let it go... Thanks to all of you who've added me as a friend...woohoo! :-) 6:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 nothing really I'm not really sure I get the point of blogging, although I admit that I like to read the blogs of others - it feels a bit voyeuristic, but in between the boring, mundane stuff is an insight to the private (or not so private) thoughts of others. I'm fascinated with the phenomenom of social network sites like MySpace and Facebook, but I'm not really sure how to make use of them - other than reading others' thoughts and using them as search tools to find old friends, roommates and boyfriends. I like to know what people are up to - what they've done with their lives, how they've grown.... it's amazing what information is out there and what people *put out there. While I'm a pretty outgoing and social person, I'll admit that I like the seclusion and option of anonymity of making contact through the internet. It accomplishes the same thing, but avoids the potential awkwardness of a phone call, "blast-from-the-past". It allows both parties to feel each other out and move on to a reconnect if they so desire. Anyway, we'll see how this goes - so if there's anyone out there from my long ago past, feel free to give a shout out. 10:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment